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I would say I'm - in the show, I'm a cultural Catholic, which is what I was.
Jim Gaffigan
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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Cultural
Catholic
Show
Shows
Would
More quotes by Jim Gaffigan
I got up early because I wanted to. - Nobody
Jim Gaffigan
There's something about being a parent that has, I think, made me a better comedian.
Jim Gaffigan
Nursery schools and bars at 2 a.m. are the only places where it is completely normal if someone just spontaneously throws up on the floor...and just like a toddler, the bar patron wakes up the next day not remembering or caring how they behaved.
Jim Gaffigan
I'm kind of like a guy who's missing a little bit of the guy gene. Like, I love steak, but the notion of golfing is the last thing I would want to do. I love women, but I'm also a mama's boy, and some of my best friends are women. So I'm kinda half guy's guy.
Jim Gaffigan
The real question is should we trust people who don't like cheese?
Jim Gaffigan
The entertainment business is such a strange, crazy perception business that you're either given way too much respect, like people saying, You should be the head of the sitcom! Or you're given no respect, where they're like, You should audition to be the garbage man that lives four houses down.
Jim Gaffigan
I really don't care about birthdays. It's something where even as a kid, I never really felt comfortable when someone would sing to me.
Jim Gaffigan
I've always been somebody that it takes me longer to learn things, but once I learn them... I'm like a quarterback that plays best in the fourth quarter.
Jim Gaffigan
I only dated one Asian girl, but she was very Asian. She was a panda.
Jim Gaffigan
If I was on an airplane, the people in coach would know who I am. But no one in first class would know.
Jim Gaffigan
Deep frying a Twinkie makes it healthy, right?
Jim Gaffigan
Why do you have to be out of town to write a postcard? I want a to write a postcard to my neighbor: I still live near you! The guy sees me go into my apartment, flips the card over, it's just a picture of me holding a rifle.
Jim Gaffigan
My whole comic persona is that of a guy who explores the id: I romanticize gluttony, I romanticize laziness, and people identify with that.
Jim Gaffigan
I'm not a foodie I'm an eatie. I don't have anything against foodies. I just don't have the time or the interest to do that much research.
Jim Gaffigan
I was watching the Animal Planet. Did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? Why don't they just call that one the female?
Jim Gaffigan
It's not as if ten years ago, we were like, 'I wish I could take low quality photos of my dessert.'
Jim Gaffigan
All I want to do is be a good dad, but I'm pretty bad at it.
Jim Gaffigan
I know that Colbert could quote Thomas Aquinas and all this, but I'm somebody who, because it's a necessity for me on a personal basis. I need it because I'm a lunatic.
Jim Gaffigan
I spent most of my adult life essentially agnostic or an atheist.
Jim Gaffigan
I'm an eccentric, silly, observational guy, but I'm not gonna frighten off social conservatives.
Jim Gaffigan