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I would say I'm - in the show, I'm a cultural Catholic, which is what I was.

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Cultural
Catholic
Show
Shows
Would

More quotes by Jim Gaffigan

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I'm kind of like a guy who's missing a little bit of the guy gene. Like, I love steak, but the notion of golfing is the last thing I would want to do. I love women, but I'm also a mama's boy, and some of my best friends are women. So I'm kinda half guy's guy.
Jim Gaffigan
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I know that Colbert could quote Thomas Aquinas and all this, but I'm somebody who, because it's a necessity for me on a personal basis. I need it because I'm a lunatic.
Jim Gaffigan
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For me, stand-up comedy is a conversation between me and the audience. I have to keep them listening. When I'm making jokes about cake for twenty minutes, I have to make sure my audience is interested and following where I'm going.
Jim Gaffigan
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Playing frisbee with a five year old is amazingly similar to chasing after a frisbee.
Jim Gaffigan
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You ever get a postcard, you get so excited you don't even read it! Hey I got a - who cares.
Jim Gaffigan
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I spend way too much time on Facebook and MySpace to feel too uncomfortable at this. I like to think of the Internet as an effective way to waste time and time.
Jim Gaffigan
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I married a woman who loves to camp, and I am what you would call indoorsy... My wife always brings up, Camping's a tradition in my family. Hey, it was a tradition in everyone's family 'til we came up with the house.
Jim Gaffigan
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Don't take this the wrong way but I care more and I'm a better online friend than you. I also spend way to much time online.
Jim Gaffigan
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I think growing up in Indiana prepares anyone for a life in comedy. I do feel like there is a certain kind of self-effacing cynicism among all Hoosiers.
Jim Gaffigan
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Pie can't compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it's a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, someone's drunk in the kitchen.
Jim Gaffigan
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Bacon's the best, even the frying of bacon sounds like an applause.
Jim Gaffigan
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If you're a guy over 30 by yourself in the hotel pool, you automatically look like a murderer who's just relaxing after he strangled a family. Yeah-that dad was a tough one to kill.
Jim Gaffigan
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I never have free time, I don't know about you. You ever go to the cash machine, there's two people in line in front of you and you get kinda flustered, you're like Forget it! I'm not standing here for 40 seconds. I got things to do, okay?
Jim Gaffigan
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I'm an eccentric, silly, observational guy, but I'm not gonna frighten off social conservatives.
Jim Gaffigan
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Who was the first person to walk into a harbor and say, Whatever that horrible smell is I want to eat it
Jim Gaffigan
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Oh great, socks. You know I'm dying for your sins right? Yeah, but thanks for the socks! They'll go great with my sandals. What am I, German?
Jim Gaffigan
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There are some people who know who I am but there are a lot of people that have no idea who I am - which is not to say that that's a bad thing.
Jim Gaffigan
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Deep frying a Twinkie makes it healthy, right?
Jim Gaffigan
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Thanksgiving is the most complicated meal you can think of. Every night, dinner is just pasta. It's just different shapes of pasta.
Jim Gaffigan
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I would make sweet love to Don Rickles.
Jim Gaffigan