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Some of my fear and anxieties surrounding faith, I think, provides some good comedy for my act.

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Comedy
Faith
Fear
Good
Think
Anxieties
Thinking
Surrounding
Provides
Anxiety

More quotes by Jim Gaffigan

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I see some people with glasses here, I trust people with glasses, don't you? But if you're wearing your glasses like this ... Get away from 'em!
Jim Gaffigan
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I try to only eat animals that are vegan. I'm probably the opposite of a vegan.
Jim Gaffigan
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Why do you have to be out of town to write a postcard? I want a to write a postcard to my neighbor: I still live near you! The guy sees me go into my apartment, flips the card over, it's just a picture of me holding a rifle.
Jim Gaffigan
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They always give you three ketchup packets. When you go back up and ask for more, the guy handing them out always treats you like you're taking from his personal stash. Looks like my kids aren't having ketchup tonight.
Jim Gaffigan
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Most of my material is , it doesn't necessarily involve a lot of editing. So even the show with the World Meeting of Families in Philadelphia, I don't have to worry about some of the material being inappropriate.
Jim Gaffigan
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How did we get to the point where we're paying for bottled water? That must have been some weird marketing meeting over in France. Some French guy's sitting there, like, How dumb do I think the Americans are? I bet you we could sell those idiots water.
Jim Gaffigan
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I would say I'm - in the show, I'm a cultural Catholic, which is what I was.
Jim Gaffigan
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What was the idea behind Hot Pockets? Was there a marketing meeting somewhere, 'Hey I got an idea: How about we take a Pop-Tart and fill it with really nasty meat? You could cook it in a sleeve thing, and you could dunk it in the toilet.'
Jim Gaffigan
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Weight Watchers says nothing tastes better than thin feels. I can think of a thousand things that taste better than thin feels.
Jim Gaffigan
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I think I grew up with the idea that God was a punishing being, constructed around rules.
Jim Gaffigan
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I like to think of bread as really bland cake.
Jim Gaffigan
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Other people's children's birthday parties are the most joyful events you will ever resent having to attend.
Jim Gaffigan
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Besides hot pockets keeps introducing new products every 10 minutes so I always have new stuff on the topic.
Jim Gaffigan
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Kale is a superfood and it’s special power is tasting bad.
Jim Gaffigan
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The hardest part of the day is all the stuff after I open my eyes in the morning.
Jim Gaffigan
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Steakhouses sort of have this old-school nature to them they're like museums full of good food. It's fun hearing the waiter share his expertise on the different cuts of beef and how they're going to cut up your baked potato.
Jim Gaffigan
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Jesus if you could cure our son's blindness that'd be great... And we'd love some shelves over there.
Jim Gaffigan
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I always imagine that if I met Dr. Seuss, he would be very similar to Crispin Glover.
Jim Gaffigan
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My kids are always awake. It's they're taking shifts. 'Alright, I'll annoy 'em from midnight to . Who wants to ?'
Jim Gaffigan
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Don't you expect a rainbow coming out of the tub of bacon strips at the end of the buffet line?
Jim Gaffigan