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Once you identify yourself as believing something, you open yourself to ridicule.

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Believe
Ridicule
Identify
Believing
Open
Something

More quotes by Jim Gaffigan

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Bacon bits are like the fairy dust of the food community.
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If I was on an airplane, the people in coach would know who I am. But no one in first class would know.
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Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew.
Jim Gaffigan
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The whole idea of comedy, there is nothing normal about going up on stage to make strangers laugh. But I'm also not an exhibitionist like other comics. I'm not up there talking about masturbating.
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Once you put bacon into a salad it's no longer a salad, it just becomes a game of find the bacon in the lettuce. It's like you're panning for gold, hmmmmm, EUREKA!
Jim Gaffigan
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I'm a comedian, which is the opposite of a lifestyle that equips you to be a parent.
Jim Gaffigan
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I'm bald, blind and pale. I'm like a gigantic recessive gene.
Jim Gaffigan
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Well my chocolate is so good I could sell it in an obnoxious prism shape.
Jim Gaffigan
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I like to think of bread as really bland cake.
Jim Gaffigan
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We wrote about having five kids and bringing them to church. A journalist at The Washington Post wrote this article where the headline was The New Catholic Evangelism Of Jim Gaffigan. And it was a bit terrifying.
Jim Gaffigan
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Don't get caught up in other people's expectations. Don't take anything for granted, either.
Jim Gaffigan
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We’re never satisfied when it comes to food. ‘You know what’d be good on this burger? A ham sandwich. Instead of a bun, let’s use two donuts. That way we can have it for breakfast. Look out McGriddle. Here comes the donut-ham-hamburger!’
Jim Gaffigan
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I'm not a foodie I'm an eatie. I don't have anything against foodies. I just don't have the time or the interest to do that much research.
Jim Gaffigan
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I spent most of my adult life essentially agnostic or an atheist.
Jim Gaffigan
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I feel guilty if I'm not reading books, but I read scripts of movies or things that I know I'm committed to that I'm going to do the project. I tell myself, I'm going to read this script like six times, and I only read it the initial time.
Jim Gaffigan
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Lean Pockets, I don't even wanna know what's in those. I wonder what the directions are on a box of Lean Pockets: 'Remove from box, place directly in toilet.' Flush Pocket!
Jim Gaffigan
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There are some people who know who I am but there are a lot of people that have no idea who I am - which is not to say that that's a bad thing.
Jim Gaffigan
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I went to a Catholic University and there's something about being a Catholic-American. You know, St. Patrick's Day is, I'm Irish-Catholic. There's alcoholism in my family. It's like I've got to be Catholic, right?
Jim Gaffigan
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I would say I'm - in the show, I'm a cultural Catholic, which is what I was.
Jim Gaffigan
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I think I have a lot of voices in my head and I guess my inner critic is a female.
Jim Gaffigan