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I don't want to get involved in the culture war. Religion's iffy.

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Religion
War
Culture
Iffy
Involved

More quotes by Jim Gaffigan

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Now that I'm married and have two beautiful children, it really makes me appreciate... being alone.
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I was raised in a family where my father was the first one to go to college.
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People treat having a kid as somehow retiring from success. Quitting. Have you seen a baby? They’re pretty cute. Loving them is pretty easy. Smiling babies should actually be categorized by the pharmaceutical industry as a powerful antidepressant. Being happy is really the definition of success, isn’t it?
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When you hear bacon cooking....that sizzling sound isn't the fat cooking....that's applause.
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The real question is should we trust people who don't like cheese?
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You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.
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Even when you hear about a comedian getting married, among comedians, we're always kind of like, what are they doing?
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On MySpace ... the whole demographic of the stand-up comedy fan has changed. It's like an indie band thing. People think they've discovered you.
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Well my chocolate is so good I could sell it in an obnoxious prism shape.
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Wouldn't it have been weird to go to high school with the Pope? You know, somebody did, someone's sitting at home, watching TV in Poland, they see the Pope, they think, That guy was a jerk! He was so mean to me and now he's Pope? I got a swirly from the Pope!
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After you eat a Hot Pocket, Everything will taste like rubber for a month!
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Babies and toddlers are mostly what I've been exposed to at this point. I'm hoping parenting just gets much easier after this. It does, right?
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I wouldn't say that comedy brought me away from it.I think that my idea of faith was another obligation in my life.
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I didn't choose to be the guy who talks about the mundane - it's just who I am and it's what kind of works for me.
Jim Gaffigan
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The whole idea of comedy, there is nothing normal about going up on stage to make strangers laugh. But I'm also not an exhibitionist like other comics. I'm not up there talking about masturbating.
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Oh great, socks. You know I'm dying for your sins right? Yeah, but thanks for the socks! They'll go great with my sandals. What am I, German?
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I'm definitely hesitant wearing shorts during the summer. Like for a pale person, you know, summer - everyone in the world is so excited for summer, but pale people, we're just like, oh no.
Jim Gaffigan
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Babies should be classified as an antidepressant. It's pretty hard to be in a bad mood around a 5-month-old baby.
Jim Gaffigan
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Once you identify yourself as believing something, you open yourself to ridicule.
Jim Gaffigan
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A lot of the teachings really kind of keep me grounded.
Jim Gaffigan