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I'd have to say Sunset Salsa. Nothing against Honey Lime, but it's for losers.

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Nothing
Lime
Limes
Salsa
Losers
Loser
Sunset
Honey

More quotes by Jim Gaffigan

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I like that in my audiences, there's a lesbian couple sitting next to a Mormon family.
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Imagine you're drowning, and someone hands you a baby.
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For me, it's always a little sad getting out of bed. Every morning after I get up, I always gaze longingly at my bed and lament, 'You were wonderful last night. I didn't want it to end. I can't wait to see you again.
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I would say I'm - in the show, I'm a cultural Catholic, which is what I was.
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Smiling babies should actually be categorized by the pharmaceutical industry as a powerful antidepressant.
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I've had plenty of friends tell me that their first time doing stand-up, they do well, and then they tank for a while after that. Kind of like the first time you do a drug, you're like, Huh! This is pretty darn good, and then you spend all your money trying to get the same high.
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Besides hot pockets keeps introducing new products every 10 minutes so I always have new stuff on the topic.
Jim Gaffigan
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Comedians kind of write what comes to them. You can give yourself little assignments, but it's what inspires you.
Jim Gaffigan
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Holidays are also an opportunity for kids to unlearn every good habit they've learned during the rest of the year. They don't go to school. They get to stay up past their bedtime. They get candy and presents for doing nothing. Childhood utopia.
Jim Gaffigan
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My faith kind of keeps me in touch with the idea that I'm not in control of things.
Jim Gaffigan
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The question is the primary form of communication for little kids.
Jim Gaffigan
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Once you identify yourself as believing something, you open yourself to ridicule.
Jim Gaffigan
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My goal in life is to be as happy as a studio audience.
Jim Gaffigan
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When our bed is made, it's covered in 40 pillows-like we're stockpiling ammo for the global pillow fight.
Jim Gaffigan
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Now that I'm married and have two beautiful children, it really makes me appreciate... being alone.
Jim Gaffigan
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We’re never satisfied when it comes to food. ‘You know what’d be good on this burger? A ham sandwich. Instead of a bun, let’s use two donuts. That way we can have it for breakfast. Look out McGriddle. Here comes the donut-ham-hamburger!’
Jim Gaffigan
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Don't you expect a rainbow coming out of the tub of bacon strips at the end of the buffet line?
Jim Gaffigan
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I saw this college team bowling championship. Each team had their own coach. What kind of strategy advice is a bowling coach giving? You know what? This time Timmy, I want you to knock down all the pins. You sure? Trust me. Just do it son!
Jim Gaffigan
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On MySpace ... the whole demographic of the stand-up comedy fan has changed. It's like an indie band thing. People think they've discovered you.
Jim Gaffigan
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Some people that work for Hot Pockets came to my Denver Paramount Theater show. They brought these hot pocket boxes the size of suit cases for me to sign. I wrote these are WMD's on the boxes. The HP people seem to have a good sense of humor about all of it.
Jim Gaffigan