Quote

I would make sweet love to Don Rickles.

Jim Gaffigan

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Love
Rickles
Sweet
Make
Would

More quotes by Jim Gaffigan

Image
There are a lot of good looking men on this planet. It seems like once a week someone will tell me, I know someone who looks like you and I don't know what say to them except, Tell them hi.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
Smiling babies should actually be categorized by the pharmaceutical industry as a powerful antidepressant.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
I realized, in removing or rewriting these jokes, that often the jokes weren't done or that I was using, for me, the curse words as kind of a crutch. So then I just started writing.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
It's amazing how email has changed our lives. You ever get a handwritten letter in the mail today? 'What the? Has someone been kidnapped?'
Jim Gaffigan
Image
Kale is a superfood and it’s special power is tasting bad.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
I love sleep. I need sleep. We all do, of course. There are those people that don't need sleep. I think they're called 'successful.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
I'm kind of like a guy who's missing a little bit of the guy gene. Like, I love steak, but the notion of golfing is the last thing I would want to do. I love women, but I'm also a mama's boy, and some of my best friends are women. So I'm kinda half guy's guy.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
Faith is something that's - it's hard to articulate. It's - there's - it's not based on logic.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
What exactly are the ingredients of Ranch dressing? Mayo and disappointment?
Jim Gaffigan
Image
I went to a Catholic University and there's something about being a Catholic-American. You know, St. Patrick's Day is, I'm Irish-Catholic. There's alcoholism in my family. It's like I've got to be Catholic, right?
Jim Gaffigan
Image
If only opening a Vitamin Water could be classified as working out.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
I see some people with glasses here, I trust people with glasses, don't you? But if you're wearing your glasses like this ... Get away from 'em!
Jim Gaffigan
Image
I'm a comedian, which is the opposite of a lifestyle that equips you to be a parent.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
I live in New York City, but it doesn't matter if you're in any large, metropolitan area, there's kind of a little bit of survival-of-the-fittest, so when you encounter kindness or people going out of their way in an empathetic way, it's almost startling.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
I think growing up in Indiana prepares anyone for a life in comedy. I do feel like there is a certain kind of self-effacing cynicism among all Hoosiers.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
My faith kind of keeps me in touch with the idea that I'm not in control of things.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
My new years resolution? I will be less laz.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
Failing and laughing at your own shortcomings are the hallmarks of a sane parent.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
My whole comic persona is that of a guy who explores the id: I romanticize gluttony, I romanticize laziness, and people identify with that.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
The idea of being a practicing Catholic, it's - for me, it's like - I need a lot of practice, you know what I mean?
Jim Gaffigan