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I'd really like to promote my increasing consumption of bacon.

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Promote
Increasing
Consumption
Really
Like
Bacon

More quotes by Jim Gaffigan

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Entertainers Of Faith, funnyman Jim Gaffigan isn't ashamed of his Catholicism. He's seen here leaving a New York comedy club with his Bible in hand.
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Deep frying a Twinkie makes it healthy, right?
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My new years resolution? I will be less laz.
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Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?
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I live in New York City, but it doesn't matter if you're in any large, metropolitan area, there's kind of a little bit of survival-of-the-fittest, so when you encounter kindness or people going out of their way in an empathetic way, it's almost startling.
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I grew up in a Catholic family in the Midwest. And I knew people of different faiths and people that were atheists and people that were agnostic.
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I'd have to say Sunset Salsa. Nothing against Honey Lime, but it's for losers.
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In Indiana, I wasn't anything special. But in New York, I've gone out with girls with purple hair who go out with me because I'm exotic!
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Comedy is a very lucrative business now, but when everyone first went into it, it didn't make sense from a financial standpoint.
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Kale is a superfood and it’s special power is tasting bad.
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That's not to say that I'm a well-informed Catholic. I'm still in idiot.
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I think I have a lot of voices in my head and I guess my inner critic is a female.
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If I was on an airplane, the people in coach would know who I am. But no one in first class would know.
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The Pearly Gates. Am I the only one who finds it odd that Heaven has gates? What kind of neighborhood is Heaven in?
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Raising kids may be a thankless job with ridiculous hours, but at least the pay sucks.
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If you're a guy over 30 by yourself in the hotel pool, you automatically look like a murderer who's just relaxing after he strangled a family. Yeah-that dad was a tough one to kill.
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I didn't choose to be the guy who talks about the mundane - it's just who I am and it's what kind of works for me.
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I curse in everyday life, but usually when I stub my toe. The topics I'm discussing, it's not necessary to curse. I found [cursing] is a sign that a joke is not finished or well-written.
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I watch a lot of TV, I drink a lot of coffee, but you know what's really addictive? Heroin.
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I saw this college team bowling championship. Each team had their own coach. What kind of strategy advice is a bowling coach giving? You know what? This time Timmy, I want you to knock down all the pins. You sure? Trust me. Just do it son!
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