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It's amazing how email has changed our lives. You ever get a handwritten letter in the mail today? 'What the? Has someone been kidnapped?'

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Amazing
Changed
Lives
Handwritten
Someone
Kidnapped
Today
Email
Ever
Letter
Mail
Letters

More quotes by Jim Gaffigan

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There are a lot of good looking men on this planet. It seems like once a week someone will tell me, I know someone who looks like you and I don't know what say to them except, Tell them hi.
Jim Gaffigan
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I've never eaten a Hot Pocket and then afterwards been, I'm glad I ate that. I'm always like, I'm gonna die.
Jim Gaffigan
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Stand-up is so rewarding, and I enjoy the acting opportunities I've had, but the only time I really feel bad is when I feel like I have this manufactured belief that I should be doing something else or there should be some type of recognition. On an intellectual level, I know it's stupid.
Jim Gaffigan
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You know, I want to teach, but I don’t want to read?
Jim Gaffigan
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I spend way too much time on Facebook and MySpace to feel too uncomfortable at this. I like to think of the Internet as an effective way to waste time and time.
Jim Gaffigan
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You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.
Jim Gaffigan
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I've had plenty of friends tell me that their first time doing stand-up, they do well, and then they tank for a while after that. Kind of like the first time you do a drug, you're like, Huh! This is pretty darn good, and then you spend all your money trying to get the same high.
Jim Gaffigan
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My faith kind of keeps me in touch with the idea that I'm not in control of things.
Jim Gaffigan
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The Pearly Gates. Am I the only one who finds it odd that Heaven has gates? What kind of neighborhood is Heaven in?
Jim Gaffigan
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There has been this belief among the Catholic community - and this - I'm no expert, this is my opinion - that cafeteria Catholics are wrong.
Jim Gaffigan
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I grew up in a Catholic family in the Midwest. And I knew people of different faiths and people that were atheists and people that were agnostic.
Jim Gaffigan
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I don't want to get involved in the culture war. Religion's iffy.
Jim Gaffigan
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I was raised in a family where my father was the first one to go to college.
Jim Gaffigan
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My children have made me a better man, which is - in the end, that's probably more important than two more comedy specials or being in better shape.
Jim Gaffigan
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People treat having a kid as somehow retiring from success. Quitting. Have you seen a baby? They’re pretty cute. Loving them is pretty easy. Smiling babies should actually be categorized by the pharmaceutical industry as a powerful antidepressant. Being happy is really the definition of success, isn’t it?
Jim Gaffigan
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I'm much more interested in making people laugh than getting applause breaks.
Jim Gaffigan
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Bacon's the best, even the frying of bacon sounds like an applause.
Jim Gaffigan
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They always give you three ketchup packets. When you go back up and ask for more, the guy handing them out always treats you like you're taking from his personal stash. Looks like my kids aren't having ketchup tonight.
Jim Gaffigan
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I didn't realize how much of a Hoosier or a Midwesterner I was until I moved to New York. It's weird - growing up in Indiana, I wanted to get out, and now I completely romanticize Indiana. It just seems like there's a greater focus on family back there, which I suppose is something that kind of stayed with me.
Jim Gaffigan
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I just want to be known as funny.
Jim Gaffigan