Quote

Is there a homeless guy built in to the design of Dunkin' Donuts? ...There'll be an entrance here... a deranged lunatic here.

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Guy
Donuts
Deranged
Entrance
Entrances
Lunatic
Homeless
Built
Design
Dunkin

More quotes by Jim Gaffigan

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I'm much more interested in making people laugh than getting applause breaks.
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The whole idea of comedy, there is nothing normal about going up on stage to make strangers laugh. But I'm also not an exhibitionist like other comics. I'm not up there talking about masturbating.
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Thanksgiving is the most complicated meal you can think of. Every night, dinner is just pasta. It's just different shapes of pasta.
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I just want to be known as funny.
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It really never came up, but I think that in present-day America, they're - you know, and I touched on it in the initial clip - is that we are in the middle of this culture war.
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I saw this college team bowling championship. Each team had their own coach. What kind of strategy advice is a bowling coach giving? You know what? This time Timmy, I want you to knock down all the pins. You sure? Trust me. Just do it son!
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When I started stand-up - and this is in the '90s - there was definitely people hadn't watched decades of Comedy Central, where people are really much more educated on stand-up comedy.
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Babies and toddlers are mostly what I've been exposed to at this point. I'm hoping parenting just gets much easier after this. It does, right?
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Some fast food places, they have that ketchup pump. It's like a keg. They give you the paper shot glass. I always like to hang around there, try and meet the ladies. Here, I'll pump for you. You come to this Wendy's often? My roommate and I, we got a pony pump back at my dorm. Here's an extra shot
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Playing frisbee with a five year old is amazingly similar to chasing after a frisbee.
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You know, I want to teach, but I don’t want to read?
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I think I have a lot of voices in my head and I guess my inner critic is a female.
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I got up early because I wanted to. - Nobody
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I would say some of the food I talk about that I really enjoy, like cake and bacon, I eat a lot less than I portray in my act. But that stuff that I dislike, it's pretty sincere.
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Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew.
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I don't think comedians make an active decision to be a certain persona. Comedians write the way they're going to write.
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I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There's nothing planned about this.
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The question is the primary form of communication for little kids.
Jim Gaffigan
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The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.
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I'm a weirdo that goes on stage to make strangers laugh, but if I wasn't working, I would just want to be with my wife and kids. I don't even think I'd want to go out to dinner.
Jim Gaffigan