Quote

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Extras
Meals
Excuse
Appetizer
Wings
Appetizers
Start
Buffalo
Eighty
Meal
Extra

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When you hear bacon cooking....that sizzling sound isn't the fat cooking....that's applause.
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I never went to church when I was in college, either.
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Don't get caught up in other people's expectations. Don't take anything for granted, either.
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It's like in most parts of America, where there was industry and there is no longer there is cynicism mixed with sarcasm and some optimism. That's how my background influenced my comedy.
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A lot of people are like, You're doing commercials? And I honestly feel like those Sierra Mist commercials are better than a lot of sitcoms I get offered. It's hard work, and I'm paid a lot of money, and I do it because I love the soda.
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I worked on USA Today as a topic for while. I tried to do something on hand chairs, chairs that look like hands. I really tried. But some topics are not truly universal.
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I'd really like to promote my increasing consumption of bacon.
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Raising kids may be a thankless job with ridiculous hours, but at least the pay sucks.
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If only opening a Vitamin Water could be classified as working out.
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I'm kind of like a guy who's missing a little bit of the guy gene. Like, I love steak, but the notion of golfing is the last thing I would want to do. I love women, but I'm also a mama's boy, and some of my best friends are women. So I'm kinda half guy's guy.
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You can never find the right bowling ball. This one's too heavy. This one's good but its pink!
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I always imagine that if I met Dr. Seuss, he would be very similar to Crispin Glover.
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The idea of being a practicing Catholic, it's - for me, it's like - I need a lot of practice, you know what I mean?
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There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep'.
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I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There's nothing planned about this.
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I would make sweet love to Don Rickles.
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Failing and laughing at your own shortcomings are the hallmarks of a sane parent.
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Some people that work for Hot Pockets came to my Denver Paramount Theater show. They brought these hot pocket boxes the size of suit cases for me to sign. I wrote these are WMD's on the boxes. The HP people seem to have a good sense of humor about all of it.
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When our bed is made, it's covered in 40 pillows-like we're stockpiling ammo for the global pillow fight.
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Once you put bacon into a salad it's no longer a salad, it just becomes a game of find the bacon in the lettuce. It's like you're panning for gold, hmmmmm, EUREKA!
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