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I'm not saying that McDonald's gift certificates caused the obesity epidemic, but in retrospect, the timing is kind of suspicious.

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Caused
Certificates
Gift
Mcdonald
Saying
Epidemic
Kind
Epidemics
Obesity
Retrospect
Suspicious
Timing

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Don't take this the wrong way but I care more and I'm a better online friend than you. I also spend way to much time online.
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I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There's nothing planned about this.
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I like that in my audiences, there's a lesbian couple sitting next to a Mormon family.
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How'd we come up with the robe? Was some guy just like, 'Hey, I've got an idea! Why don't we make a coat out of a towel? You can have a little belt that goes around. You could dunk the belt in the toilet! Have a toilet belt.'
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When you hear bacon cooking....that sizzling sound isn't the fat cooking....that's applause.
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I curse in everyday life, but usually when I stub my toe. The topics I'm discussing, it's not necessary to curse. I found [cursing] is a sign that a joke is not finished or well-written.
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All I want to do is be a good dad, but I'm pretty bad at it.
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I'm bald, blind and pale. I'm like a gigantic recessive gene.
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Is there a homeless guy built in to the design of Dunkin' Donuts? ...There'll be an entrance here... a deranged lunatic here.
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