Quote

Don't you expect a rainbow coming out of the tub of bacon strips at the end of the buffet line?

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Ends
Strips
Buffets
Bacon
Rainbow
Expect
Line
Coming
Buffet
Lines
Tubs

More quotes by Jim Gaffigan

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How dumb do I think the Americans are? I bet you we could sell those idiots water.
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Comedy is a very lucrative business now, but when everyone first went into it, it didn't make sense from a financial standpoint.
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Oh great, socks. You know I'm dying for your sins right? Yeah, but thanks for the socks! They'll go great with my sandals. What am I, German?
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Bacon is like the opposite of medicine. It's like, Take that, Lipitor.
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Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew.
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We wrote about having five kids and bringing them to church. A journalist at The Washington Post wrote this article where the headline was The New Catholic Evangelism Of Jim Gaffigan. And it was a bit terrifying.
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Don't you think it's strange how many referees work at Footlocker?
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When you have five little kids, you're not going to open Mindy Kaling's latest book. You're playing with your kids.
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I didn't choose to be the guy who talks about the mundane - it's just who I am and it's what kind of works for me.
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It's not as if ten years ago, we were like, 'I wish I could take low quality photos of my dessert.'
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Have you seen the bologna that has the olives in it? Who's that for? 'I like my bologna like a martini. With an olive.' 'I'll have the bologna sandwich - dirty.'
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Holidays are also an opportunity for kids to unlearn every good habit they've learned during the rest of the year. They don't go to school. They get to stay up past their bedtime. They get candy and presents for doing nothing. Childhood utopia.
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On MySpace ... the whole demographic of the stand-up comedy fan has changed. It's like an indie band thing. People think they've discovered you.
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Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?
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I think being a doctor is really hard, and it's really this thankless, never-ending job. It's not even that you get done with a project. There are always sick people.
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If I was on an airplane, the people in coach would know who I am. But no one in first class would know.
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My new years resolution? I will be less laz.
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I feel guilty if I'm not reading books, but I read scripts of movies or things that I know I'm committed to that I'm going to do the project. I tell myself, I'm going to read this script like six times, and I only read it the initial time.
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I like bowling. It's just one of those things where I can do so many jokes about it because I do know bowling. Somebody once said, The whitest things in the world are Jim Gaffigan and bowling.
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Do you ever leave a message for somebody and the answering machine cuts you off, and you have to decide whether you should not call back, or call back and appear like a stalker? Hi. It's me again. I forgot to tell you that I'm going to kill you. Because I'm the freak who keeps calling and calling.
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