Quote

Don't you expect a rainbow coming out of the tub of bacon strips at the end of the buffet line?

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Ends
Strips
Buffets
Bacon
Rainbow
Expect
Line
Coming
Buffet
Lines
Tubs

More quotes by Jim Gaffigan

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I think growing up in Indiana prepares anyone for a life in comedy. I do feel like there is a certain kind of self-effacing cynicism among all Hoosiers.
Jim Gaffigan
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Once you put bacon into a salad it's no longer a salad, it just becomes a game of find the bacon in the lettuce. It's like you're panning for gold, hmmmmm, EUREKA!
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My children have made me a better man, which is - in the end, that's probably more important than two more comedy specials or being in better shape.
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I grew up in a Catholic family in the Midwest. And I knew people of different faiths and people that were atheists and people that were agnostic.
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I like bowling. It's just one of those things where I can do so many jokes about it because I do know bowling. Somebody once said, The whitest things in the world are Jim Gaffigan and bowling.
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I'm a weirdo that goes on stage to make strangers laugh, but if I wasn't working, I would just want to be with my wife and kids. I don't even think I'd want to go out to dinner.
Jim Gaffigan
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Bacon bits are like the fairy dust of the food community.
Jim Gaffigan
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Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' 'But we do that every day!' 'Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'
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Comedians kind of write what comes to them. You can give yourself little assignments, but it's what inspires you.
Jim Gaffigan
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I had some jokes that were dirty. And some of it is when I started making appearances on Conan and Letterman back in the late '90s, I think. You had to remove the curse words, or you couldn't do some of the more explicit jokes.
Jim Gaffigan
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Meredith Baxter Birney gets beaten by a rod, in the Lifetime Original, Rod.
Jim Gaffigan
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I like that in my audiences, there's a lesbian couple sitting next to a Mormon family.
Jim Gaffigan
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This city has so many beautiful women. I fall in love like every ten minutes, I'm sitting on the subway, I'm like, There's my wife... there she is - oh, she's getting off. All right, there's the woman - all right, that's a man.
Jim Gaffigan
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Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?
Jim Gaffigan
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The idea of being a practicing Catholic, it's - for me, it's like - I need a lot of practice, you know what I mean?
Jim Gaffigan
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It's weird, I love acting and stand-up is a very unique, solitary thing where you are the writer, performer and director. But acting is incredibly rewarding, working and interacting with people to create funny moments. I can't imagine not doing acting or stand-up, I really enjoy both of them that much.
Jim Gaffigan
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Playing frisbee with a five year old is amazingly similar to chasing after a frisbee.
Jim Gaffigan
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There are a lot of good looking men on this planet. It seems like once a week someone will tell me, I know someone who looks like you and I don't know what say to them except, Tell them hi.
Jim Gaffigan
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Don't get caught up in other people's expectations. Don't take anything for granted, either.
Jim Gaffigan
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Other people's children's birthday parties are the most joyful events you will ever resent having to attend.
Jim Gaffigan