Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Who was the first person to walk into a harbor and say, Whatever that horrible smell is I want to eat it
Jim Gaffigan
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Firsts
Harbors
First
Horrible
Smell
Walk
Walks
Whatever
Persons
Person
Harbor
More quotes by Jim Gaffigan
Kale is a superfood and it’s special power is tasting bad.
Jim Gaffigan
I'd have to say Sunset Salsa. Nothing against Honey Lime, but it's for losers.
Jim Gaffigan
I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators. Stand-up comedy is very much a conversation. It's very personal, stylistically.
Jim Gaffigan
All I want to do is be a good dad, but I'm pretty bad at it.
Jim Gaffigan
I'm not saying that McDonald's gift certificates caused the obesity epidemic, but in retrospect, the timing is kind of suspicious.
Jim Gaffigan
I spend way too much time on Facebook and MySpace to feel too uncomfortable at this. I like to think of the Internet as an effective way to waste time and time.
Jim Gaffigan
Comics write to their point of view. If you're an exceedingly irreverent comedian, you've got to see where that point of view fits or produces the most funny.
Jim Gaffigan
That's my private business. Besides, the perception is that people that believe in God are stupid.
Jim Gaffigan
Imagine you're drowning, and someone hands you a baby.
Jim Gaffigan
How'd we come up with the robe? Was some guy just like, 'Hey, I've got an idea! Why don't we make a coat out of a towel? You can have a little belt that goes around. You could dunk the belt in the toilet! Have a toilet belt.'
Jim Gaffigan
Nursery schools and bars at 2 a.m. are the only places where it is completely normal if someone just spontaneously throws up on the floor...and just like a toddler, the bar patron wakes up the next day not remembering or caring how they behaved.
Jim Gaffigan
Deep frying a Twinkie makes it healthy, right?
Jim Gaffigan
Babies, they learn how to walk and they are already trying to run away. You can't reach the doorknob, you only know us, think it through.
Jim Gaffigan
My whole comic persona is that of a guy who explores the id: I romanticize gluttony, I romanticize laziness, and people identify with that.
Jim Gaffigan
Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.
Jim Gaffigan
I've had plenty of friends tell me that their first time doing stand-up, they do well, and then they tank for a while after that. Kind of like the first time you do a drug, you're like, Huh! This is pretty darn good, and then you spend all your money trying to get the same high.
Jim Gaffigan
I'm a weirdo that goes on stage to make strangers laugh, but if I wasn't working, I would just want to be with my wife and kids. I don't even think I'd want to go out to dinner.
Jim Gaffigan
Why would a lazy guy become a parent of five? Then again, why would creative people who inherently don't like change and criticism become writers, actors, or comedians? There's something about this process. I joke about it: My kids have made me a better person, and I only need, like, 34 more of them to be a really good guy.
Jim Gaffigan
I always want my standup act to appeal to everybody in the room, and when I started standup, and I would see people talk about their kids and their wife, and I'd always cringe a little bit, like, 'I can't get a date, I don't know what you're talking about.'
Jim Gaffigan
I like bowling. It's just one of those things where I can do so many jokes about it because I do know bowling. Somebody once said, The whitest things in the world are Jim Gaffigan and bowling.
Jim Gaffigan
