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Who was the first person to walk into a harbor and say, Whatever that horrible smell is I want to eat it
Jim Gaffigan
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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Smell
Walk
Walks
Whatever
Persons
Person
Harbor
Firsts
Harbors
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Horrible
More quotes by Jim Gaffigan
Raising kids may be a thankless job with ridiculous hours, but at least the pay sucks.
Jim Gaffigan
Faith is something that's - it's hard to articulate. It's - there's - it's not based on logic.
Jim Gaffigan
I spend way too much time on Facebook and MySpace to feel too uncomfortable at this. I like to think of the Internet as an effective way to waste time and time.
Jim Gaffigan
I was always told that Hoosier came from when settlers in the state, when a stranger came on their property they'd say, Who's there? Who's there? So people that were from Indiana were the people that said Who's there? But what do I know? I don't read or interact with people outside the Internet.
Jim Gaffigan
I love how New York is so multicultural. I wish I was ethnic, I'm nothing. Because if you're Hispanic and you get angry, people are like, 'He's got a Latin temper!' If you're a white guy and you get angry, people are like, 'That guy's a jerk.'
Jim Gaffigan
I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There's nothing planned about this.
Jim Gaffigan
Well my chocolate is so good I could sell it in an obnoxious prism shape.
Jim Gaffigan
There were times in my life when I had one thing to do all day, but I still couldn’t get to it. “I gotta go to the post office, but I’d probably have to put on pants. And they’re only open till five. Looks like I’m going to have to do that next week.
Jim Gaffigan
Comics write to their point of view. If you're an exceedingly irreverent comedian, you've got to see where that point of view fits or produces the most funny.
Jim Gaffigan
I like to think of bread as really bland cake.
Jim Gaffigan
How dumb do I think the Americans are? I bet you we could sell those idiots water.
Jim Gaffigan
I never went to church when I was in college, either.
Jim Gaffigan
I saw this college team bowling championship. Each team had their own coach. What kind of strategy advice is a bowling coach giving? You know what? This time Timmy, I want you to knock down all the pins. You sure? Trust me. Just do it son!
Jim Gaffigan
Really, there are two types of people who go bowling. There are people who really, really love bowling. Then there are the people that are like: wouldnt it be hysterical if we went bowling?
Jim Gaffigan
I like bowling. It's just one of those things where I can do so many jokes about it because I do know bowling. Somebody once said, The whitest things in the world are Jim Gaffigan and bowling.
Jim Gaffigan
Be more assertive with what you want to do.
Jim Gaffigan
I love sleep. I need sleep. We all do, of course. There are those people that don't need sleep. I think they're called 'successful.
Jim Gaffigan
Whenever one of my children says, 'Goodnight, Daddy,' I always think to myself, 'You don't mean that.
Jim Gaffigan
I think comedians get too much credit or too much criticism for the style of comedy they do, and they generally do the style of comedy that works for them. [...] There's no kind of shrewd calculation going into the type of standup we all do. It's like David Cross is supposed to be doing the David Cross' type of standup.
Jim Gaffigan
I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you're doing.
Jim Gaffigan