Quote

Lifetime is television for women. Yet for some reason, there's always a woman getting beaten on that channel. In a Lifetime original, Meredith Baxter-Berney gets beaten with a rod. In a Lifetime original, Rod.

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Reason
Lifetime
Always
Gets
Television
Baxter
Comedy
Meredith
Getting
Channel
Funny
Beaten
Woman
Originals
Women
Original

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My wife always asks me why I don't make the bed. And I respond with the same reason why I don't tie my shoes after I take them off.
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My new years resolution? I will be less laz.
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The question is the primary form of communication for little kids.
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A lot of the teachings really kind of keep me grounded.
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It's so obvious The Weather Channel is pro hurricane. Fair and balanced my ass.
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I always want my standup act to appeal to everybody in the room, and when I started standup, and I would see people talk about their kids and their wife, and I'd always cringe a little bit, like, 'I can't get a date, I don't know what you're talking about.'
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Some of my fear and anxieties surrounding faith, I think, provides some good comedy for my act.
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I love how New York is so multicultural. I wish I was ethnic, I'm nothing. Because if you're Hispanic and you get angry, people are like, 'He's got a Latin temper!' If you're a white guy and you get angry, people are like, 'That guy's a jerk.'
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I love writing stand-up so much and tinkering and looking for ideas.
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I've had plenty of friends tell me that their first time doing stand-up, they do well, and then they tank for a while after that. Kind of like the first time you do a drug, you're like, Huh! This is pretty darn good, and then you spend all your money trying to get the same high.
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Pie can't compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it's a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, someone's drunk in the kitchen.
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I smoke crack. I get all my dancers together and we do a prayer.
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I would say I'm - in the show, I'm a cultural Catholic, which is what I was.
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You could say that to the pope. I want to talk to you about Jesus. He'd be like, easy, freak.
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I would make sweet love to Don Rickles.
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I'm kind of like a guy who's missing a little bit of the guy gene. Like, I love steak, but the notion of golfing is the last thing I would want to do. I love women, but I'm also a mama's boy, and some of my best friends are women. So I'm kinda half guy's guy.
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I don't know if I'm the husky guy, but I'm the sexy guy who's a good kisser .
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When you hear bacon cooking....that sizzling sound isn't the fat cooking....that's applause.
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It's kind of hard to articulate, but, like, this notion of mercy, forgiveness, was very appealing for me. It was very profound. And it had a deep impact, and I think it still does.
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People need to write articles and they need to have angles in them and I'm grateful when people are doing articles, but I always say there's not a great mystery to stand-up comedy.
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