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This city has so many beautiful women. I fall in love like every ten minutes, I'm sitting on the subway, I'm like, There's my wife... there she is - oh, she's getting off. All right, there's the woman - all right, that's a man.

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Men
Funny
Ten
Love
Woman
City
Like
Fall
Sitting
Beautiful
Humor
Women
Minutes
Right
Cities
Many
Wife
Every
Getting
Subway

More quotes by Jim Gaffigan

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It's kind of hard to articulate, but, like, this notion of mercy, forgiveness, was very appealing for me. It was very profound. And it had a deep impact, and I think it still does.
Jim Gaffigan
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Television's very much a writer's medium, as it probably should be, but if you're not the writer, then as the performer, you defer to that. It's just kind of how it's constructed. Is there some leeway? Yeah. But I also don't want to come across as a jerk.
Jim Gaffigan
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I told my son, who's 11, Look, I don't care if you curse - it's other people that care. So we tried that experiment, and he just cursed all the time. And I was like, All right, now I care that you curse. You try to have this idealized view, and it's like, I don't care. But it's just going to cause chaos.
Jim Gaffigan
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That's not to say that I'm a well-informed Catholic. I'm still in idiot.
Jim Gaffigan
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Whenever I'm out of town for at least a week, I feel like I should write a postcard or something, but you can be a genius, you try and write a postcard you come across like a moron anyway: 'This city's got big buildings. I like food. Bye.'
Jim Gaffigan
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There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep'.
Jim Gaffigan
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In stand up, you get an awareness of how you come across, but in acting there is almost a hyper-awareness on how you might be physically perceived.
Jim Gaffigan
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Be more assertive with what you want to do.
Jim Gaffigan
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I would make sweet love to Don Rickles.
Jim Gaffigan
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Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.
Jim Gaffigan
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I'm much more interested in making people laugh than getting applause breaks.
Jim Gaffigan
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Some people that work for Hot Pockets came to my Denver Paramount Theater show. They brought these hot pocket boxes the size of suit cases for me to sign. I wrote these are WMD's on the boxes. The HP people seem to have a good sense of humor about all of it.
Jim Gaffigan
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The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.
Jim Gaffigan
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I live in New York City, but it doesn't matter if you're in any large, metropolitan area, there's kind of a little bit of survival-of-the-fittest, so when you encounter kindness or people going out of their way in an empathetic way, it's almost startling.
Jim Gaffigan
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I'm a comedian, which is the opposite of a lifestyle that equips you to be a parent.
Jim Gaffigan
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I think I have a lot of voices in my head and I guess my inner critic is a female.
Jim Gaffigan
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It's not as if ten years ago, we were like, 'I wish I could take low quality photos of my dessert.'
Jim Gaffigan
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My faith kind of keeps me in touch with the idea that I'm not in control of things.
Jim Gaffigan
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I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators. Stand-up comedy is very much a conversation. It's very personal, stylistically.
Jim Gaffigan
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I always seem to be chosen to do very flattering things like the beard comb over or go to the bathroom with the door open on Sex and the City or be the guy people meow at in Super Troopers. It's great for self esteem.
Jim Gaffigan