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I was watching the Animal Planet. Did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? Why don't they just call that one the female?

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Female
Baby
Humor
Animal
Male
Call
Males
Funny
Planet
Watching
Planets

More quotes by Jim Gaffigan

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Thanksgiving, you know - Thanksgiving - it's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is we overeat.
Jim Gaffigan
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I think the worst professional advice I received was this kind of unspoken message of sit back and wait your turn, or sit back and wait and let other people do things.
Jim Gaffigan
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My kids are so dramatically different, but it's not like I would trade one in or like there's one I would pick over the other ones. I know that sounds like I'm bullshitting. I also have five of them so I barely know them.
Jim Gaffigan
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Don't you expect a rainbow coming out of the tub of bacon strips at the end of the buffet line?
Jim Gaffigan
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That's not to say that I'm a well-informed Catholic. I'm still in idiot.
Jim Gaffigan
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The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.
Jim Gaffigan
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If I was on an airplane, the people in coach would know who I am. But no one in first class would know.
Jim Gaffigan
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I didn't choose to be the guy who talks about the mundane - it's just who I am and it's what kind of works for me.
Jim Gaffigan
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I didn't realize how much of a Hoosier or a Midwesterner I was until I moved to New York. It's weird - growing up in Indiana, I wanted to get out, and now I completely romanticize Indiana. It just seems like there's a greater focus on family back there, which I suppose is something that kind of stayed with me.
Jim Gaffigan
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There's something about being a parent that has, I think, made me a better comedian.
Jim Gaffigan
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Bacon is like the opposite of medicine. It's like, Take that, Lipitor.
Jim Gaffigan
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I was always told that Hoosier came from when settlers in the state, when a stranger came on their property they'd say, Who's there? Who's there? So people that were from Indiana were the people that said Who's there? But what do I know? I don't read or interact with people outside the Internet.
Jim Gaffigan
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Thanksgiving is the most complicated meal you can think of. Every night, dinner is just pasta. It's just different shapes of pasta.
Jim Gaffigan
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For stand-up comedians that go onstage and get to write and perform and direct, and do all these things, the allure of a television show is still there but if it doesn't offer a level of creative fulfillment, it's oddly unappealing.
Jim Gaffigan
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Entertainers Of Faith, funnyman Jim Gaffigan isn't ashamed of his Catholicism. He's seen here leaving a New York comedy club with his Bible in hand.
Jim Gaffigan
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Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew.
Jim Gaffigan
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I usually don't have a burger, a brat, and a steak but it is 4th of July. And I need the energy if I'm gonna start blowin crap up. It's what the founding fathers would want.
Jim Gaffigan
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I love sleep. I need sleep. We all do, of course. There are those people that don't need sleep. I think they're called 'successful.
Jim Gaffigan
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Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' 'But we do that every day!' 'Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'
Jim Gaffigan
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How'd we come up with the robe? Was some guy just like, 'Hey, I've got an idea! Why don't we make a coat out of a towel? You can have a little belt that goes around. You could dunk the belt in the toilet! Have a toilet belt.'
Jim Gaffigan