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Babies and toddlers are mostly what I've been exposed to at this point. I'm hoping parenting just gets much easier after this. It does, right?
Jim Gaffigan
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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Point
Babies
Doe
Parenting
Right
Hoping
Much
Exposed
Mostly
Baby
Gets
Toddlers
Easier
Toddler
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What exactly are the ingredients of Ranch dressing? Mayo and disappointment?
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I spend way too much time on Facebook and MySpace to feel too uncomfortable at this. I like to think of the Internet as an effective way to waste time and time.
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Even when you hear about a comedian getting married, among comedians, we're always kind of like, what are they doing?
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It's like in most parts of America, where there was industry and there is no longer there is cynicism mixed with sarcasm and some optimism. That's how my background influenced my comedy.
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I smoke crack. I get all my dancers together and we do a prayer.
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Don't take this the wrong way but I care more and I'm a better online friend than you. I also spend way to much time online.
Jim Gaffigan
Really, there are two types of people who go bowling. There are people who really, really love bowling. Then there are the people that are like: wouldnt it be hysterical if we went bowling?
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The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.
Jim Gaffigan
Why would a lazy guy become a parent of five? Then again, why would creative people who inherently don't like change and criticism become writers, actors, or comedians? There's something about this process. I joke about it: My kids have made me a better person, and I only need, like, 34 more of them to be a really good guy.
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There has been this belief among the Catholic community - and this - I'm no expert, this is my opinion - that cafeteria Catholics are wrong.
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Stand-up is so rewarding, and I enjoy the acting opportunities I've had, but the only time I really feel bad is when I feel like I have this manufactured belief that I should be doing something else or there should be some type of recognition. On an intellectual level, I know it's stupid.
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I love how New York is so multicultural. I wish I was ethnic, I'm nothing. Because if you're Hispanic and you get angry, people are like, 'He's got a Latin temper!' If you're a white guy and you get angry, people are like, 'That guy's a jerk.'
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Pie can't compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it's a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, someone's drunk in the kitchen.
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I do want everyone to feel comfortable. That's why I'd like to talk to you about Jesus.
Jim Gaffigan
It took me a long time to understand not to get caught up in other people's expectations. It really comes down to creative fulfillment. It took me a while to realize I don't want to just be on a show to be on a show.
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I don't think comedians make an active decision to be a certain persona. Comedians write the way they're going to write.
Jim Gaffigan
Some people have their own bowling ball and their own bowling shoes... and no friends.
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You know, I want to teach, but I don’t want to read?
Jim Gaffigan
I like to think of bread as really bland cake.
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Weight Watchers says nothing tastes better than thin feels. I can think of a thousand things that taste better than thin feels.
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