Quote

For me, it's always a little sad getting out of bed. Every morning after I get up, I always gaze longingly at my bed and lament, 'You were wonderful last night. I didn't want it to end. I can't wait to see you again.

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Always
Lasts
Lament
Last
Gaze
Night
Bed
Didn
Wait
Ends
Wonderful
Littles
Morning
Little
Waiting
Every
Getting
Longingly

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I like to think of bread as really bland cake.
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Raising kids may be a thankless job with ridiculous hours, but at least the pay sucks.
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Holidays are also an opportunity for kids to unlearn every good habit they've learned during the rest of the year. They don't go to school. They get to stay up past their bedtime. They get candy and presents for doing nothing. Childhood utopia.
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It's like in most parts of America, where there was industry and there is no longer there is cynicism mixed with sarcasm and some optimism. That's how my background influenced my comedy.
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Jesus if you could cure our son's blindness that'd be great... And we'd love some shelves over there.
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I try to only eat animals that are vegan. I'm probably the opposite of a vegan.
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Meredith Baxter Birney gets beaten by a rod, in the Lifetime Original, Rod.
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The idea of being a practicing Catholic, it's - for me, it's like - I need a lot of practice, you know what I mean?
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I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators. Stand-up comedy is very much a conversation. It's very personal, stylistically.
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For stand-up comedians that go onstage and get to write and perform and direct, and do all these things, the allure of a television show is still there but if it doesn't offer a level of creative fulfillment, it's oddly unappealing.
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I spend way too much time on Facebook and MySpace to feel too uncomfortable at this. I like to think of the Internet as an effective way to waste time and time.
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I've had plenty of friends tell me that their first time doing stand-up, they do well, and then they tank for a while after that. Kind of like the first time you do a drug, you're like, Huh! This is pretty darn good, and then you spend all your money trying to get the same high.
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There is the vegetarian Hot Pocket for those of us who don't want to eat meat, but would still like diarrhea.
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I love writing stand-up so much and tinkering and looking for ideas.
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I'd really like to promote my increasing consumption of bacon.
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I love sleep. I need sleep. We all do, of course. There are those people that don't need sleep. I think they're called 'successful.
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Don't get caught up in other people's expectations. Don't take anything for granted, either.
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I went to a Catholic University and there's something about being a Catholic-American. You know, St. Patrick's Day is, I'm Irish-Catholic. There's alcoholism in my family. It's like I've got to be Catholic, right?
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Lifetime is television for women. Yet for some reason, there's always a woman getting beaten on that channel. In a Lifetime original, Meredith Baxter-Berney gets beaten with a rod. In a Lifetime original, Rod.
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I'm kind of like a guy who's missing a little bit of the guy gene. Like, I love steak, but the notion of golfing is the last thing I would want to do. I love women, but I'm also a mama's boy, and some of my best friends are women. So I'm kinda half guy's guy.
Jim Gaffigan