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The question is the primary form of communication for little kids.

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Primaries
Primary
Communication
Question
Kids
Form
Littles
Little

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Kale is a superfood and it’s special power is tasting bad.
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The hardest part of the day is all the stuff after I open my eyes in the morning.
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Why would a lazy guy become a parent of five? Then again, why would creative people who inherently don't like change and criticism become writers, actors, or comedians? There's something about this process. I joke about it: My kids have made me a better person, and I only need, like, 34 more of them to be a really good guy.
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Comedians kind of write what comes to them. You can give yourself little assignments, but it's what inspires you.
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The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.
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I've never eaten a Hot Pocket and then afterwards been, I'm glad I ate that. I'm always like, I'm gonna die.
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People treat having a kid as somehow retiring from success. Quitting. Have you seen a baby? They’re pretty cute. Loving them is pretty easy. Smiling babies should actually be categorized by the pharmaceutical industry as a powerful antidepressant. Being happy is really the definition of success, isn’t it?
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You ever talk about a movie with someone that read the book? They're always so condescending. 'Ah, the book was much better than the movie.' Oh really? What I enjoyed about the movie: no reading.
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Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew.
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Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.
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Even when you hear about a comedian getting married, among comedians, we're always kind of like, what are they doing?
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Boutique hotels are great, but they get too cute. Some hotels have shoe polish. It's like, come on, this isn't 1960. No one's polishing their shoes.
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You know, I want to teach, but I don’t want to read?
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Once you identify yourself as believing something, you open yourself to ridicule.
Jim Gaffigan
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I like to think of bread as really bland cake.
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I would say some of the food I talk about that I really enjoy, like cake and bacon, I eat a lot less than I portray in my act. But that stuff that I dislike, it's pretty sincere.
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I come from a very big family. Nine parents.
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Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.
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Meredith Baxter Birney gets beaten by a rod, in the Lifetime Original, Rod.
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Don't get caught up in other people's expectations. Don't take anything for granted, either.
Jim Gaffigan