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I think growing up in Indiana prepares anyone for a life in comedy. I do feel like there is a certain kind of self-effacing cynicism among all Hoosiers.

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Kind
Among
Think
Comedy
Thinking
Growing
Life
Anyone
Effacing
Like
Certain
Hoosiers
Self
Prepares
Feel
Indiana
Feels
Cynicism

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I don't know if I'm the husky guy, but I'm the sexy guy who's a good kisser .
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I feel guilty if I'm not reading books, but I read scripts of movies or things that I know I'm committed to that I'm going to do the project. I tell myself, I'm going to read this script like six times, and I only read it the initial time.
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When you hear bacon cooking....that sizzling sound isn't the fat cooking....that's applause.
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I smoke crack. I get all my dancers together and we do a prayer.
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Faith is something that's - it's hard to articulate. It's - there's - it's not based on logic.
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Comedy is a very lucrative business now, but when everyone first went into it, it didn't make sense from a financial standpoint.
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I saw this college team bowling championship. Each team had their own coach. What kind of strategy advice is a bowling coach giving? You know what? This time Timmy, I want you to knock down all the pins. You sure? Trust me. Just do it son!
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Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' 'But we do that every day!' 'Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'
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For me, stand-up comedy is a conversation between me and the audience. I have to keep them listening. When I'm making jokes about cake for twenty minutes, I have to make sure my audience is interested and following where I'm going.
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If I was on an airplane, the people in coach would know who I am. But no one in first class would know.
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Babies, they learn how to walk and they are already trying to run away. You can't reach the doorknob, you only know us, think it through.
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This city has so many beautiful women. I fall in love like every ten minutes, I'm sitting on the subway, I'm like, There's my wife... there she is - oh, she's getting off. All right, there's the woman - all right, that's a man.
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I try to only eat animals that are vegan. I'm probably the opposite of a vegan.
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How'd we come up with the robe? Was some guy just like, 'Hey, I've got an idea! Why don't we make a coat out of a towel? You can have a little belt that goes around. You could dunk the belt in the toilet! Have a toilet belt.'
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I do have some Catholic stuff that is done from the perspective of an ignorant Catholic. But other than that, topic-wise, there's nothing really filthy.
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I love writing stand-up so much and tinkering and looking for ideas.
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Lean Pockets, I don't even wanna know what's in those. I wonder what the directions are on a box of Lean Pockets: 'Remove from box, place directly in toilet.' Flush Pocket!
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Failing and laughing at your own shortcomings are the hallmarks of a sane parent.
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Steakhouses sort of have this old-school nature to them they're like museums full of good food. It's fun hearing the waiter share his expertise on the different cuts of beef and how they're going to cut up your baked potato.
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