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I think growing up in Indiana prepares anyone for a life in comedy. I do feel like there is a certain kind of self-effacing cynicism among all Hoosiers.

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Feel
Indiana
Feels
Cynicism
Kind
Among
Think
Comedy
Thinking
Growing
Life
Anyone
Effacing
Like
Certain
Hoosiers
Self
Prepares

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Whenever you go out to eat you gotta get the appetizer. 'Cause the appetizer's just an excuse for an extra meal. You're always like Lets see, I will start with the 80 buffalo wings...and do you have a low-cal blue cheese? 'Cause I don't wanna fill up too much.
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I'm a guy who comes from a small town in the Midwest. It's not in my nature to say the most explicit things in public.
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Stand-up comedy in the end, unlike the rest of the entertainment industry, is a meritocracy. There's a certain level of undeniability you can work toward.
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When our bed is made, it's covered in 40 pillows-like we're stockpiling ammo for the global pillow fight.
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I always want my standup act to appeal to everybody in the room, and when I started standup, and I would see people talk about their kids and their wife, and I'd always cringe a little bit, like, 'I can't get a date, I don't know what you're talking about.'
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You ever get a postcard, you get so excited you don't even read it! Hey I got a - who cares.
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There are some people who know who I am but there are a lot of people that have no idea who I am - which is not to say that that's a bad thing.
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Every now and then I'll read a book, I'll be so proud of myself, I'll try and squeeze it into conversation. People will be like, Hey Jim, how ya do- I read a book! Two hundred and fifty pages! That's great, what was it about? No idea! Took me three years!
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I usually don't have a burger, a brat, and a steak but it is 4th of July. And I need the energy if I'm gonna start blowin crap up. It's what the founding fathers would want.
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There were times in my life when I had one thing to do all day, but I still couldn’t get to it. “I gotta go to the post office, but I’d probably have to put on pants. And they’re only open till five. Looks like I’m going to have to do that next week.
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It's not as if ten years ago, we were like, 'I wish I could take low quality photos of my dessert.'
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Don't take this the wrong way but I care more and I'm a better online friend than you. I also spend way to much time online.
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How'd we come up with the robe? Was some guy just like, 'Hey, I've got an idea! Why don't we make a coat out of a towel? You can have a little belt that goes around. You could dunk the belt in the toilet! Have a toilet belt.'
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I'm an eccentric, silly, observational guy, but I'm not gonna frighten off social conservatives.
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I told my son, who's 11, Look, I don't care if you curse - it's other people that care. So we tried that experiment, and he just cursed all the time. And I was like, All right, now I care that you curse. You try to have this idealized view, and it's like, I don't care. But it's just going to cause chaos.
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Deep frying a Twinkie makes it healthy, right?
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Don't you expect a rainbow coming out of the tub of bacon strips at the end of the buffet line?
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Now that I'm married and have two beautiful children, it really makes me appreciate... being alone.
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I don't want to get involved in the culture war. Religion's iffy.
Jim Gaffigan
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Kale is a superfood and it’s special power is tasting bad.
Jim Gaffigan