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I always seem to be chosen to do very flattering things like the beard comb over or go to the bathroom with the door open on Sex and the City or be the guy people meow at in Super Troopers. It's great for self esteem.

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Always
Doors
Beard
Things
Seem
Bathroom
Like
Cities
Super
People
Open
Esteem
Troopers
Guy
Chosen
Meow
Seems
Door
Comb
Self
Sex
Combs
Great
City
Flattering

More quotes by Jim Gaffigan

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You ever buy a book and not read it? You feel almost guilty having it up on a bookshelf. People are like, Hey, how's that book? I haven't read it. Oh, did you just buy it? I've had it since high school. Well, can I borrow it? No.
Jim Gaffigan
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Once you identify yourself as believing something, you open yourself to ridicule.
Jim Gaffigan
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Stand-up is so rewarding, and I enjoy the acting opportunities I've had, but the only time I really feel bad is when I feel like I have this manufactured belief that I should be doing something else or there should be some type of recognition. On an intellectual level, I know it's stupid.
Jim Gaffigan
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There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep'.
Jim Gaffigan
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All I want to do is be a good dad, but I'm pretty bad at it.
Jim Gaffigan
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I'm there to make people laugh. I'm not trying to come across as sexy.
Jim Gaffigan
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There's something about being a parent that has, I think, made me a better comedian.
Jim Gaffigan
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Comedy is a very lucrative business now, but when everyone first went into it, it didn't make sense from a financial standpoint.
Jim Gaffigan
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I like that in my audiences, there's a lesbian couple sitting next to a Mormon family.
Jim Gaffigan
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The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.
Jim Gaffigan
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I think I grew up with the idea that God was a punishing being, constructed around rules.
Jim Gaffigan
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Steakhouses sort of have this old-school nature to them they're like museums full of good food. It's fun hearing the waiter share his expertise on the different cuts of beef and how they're going to cut up your baked potato.
Jim Gaffigan
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I realized, in removing or rewriting these jokes, that often the jokes weren't done or that I was using, for me, the curse words as kind of a crutch. So then I just started writing.
Jim Gaffigan
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For me, stand-up comedy is a conversation between me and the audience. I have to keep them listening. When I'm making jokes about cake for twenty minutes, I have to make sure my audience is interested and following where I'm going.
Jim Gaffigan
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My goal in life is to be as happy as a studio audience.
Jim Gaffigan
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I think it's important to control your opportunities, because in the entertainment world, it's not up to you. I'm not sitting here under this naïve belief that someone in Hollywood is going, Gaffigan! What kind of a show can I build around him? So you have to find things that can showcase your point of view.
Jim Gaffigan
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Faith is something that's - it's hard to articulate. It's - there's - it's not based on logic.
Jim Gaffigan
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On MySpace ... the whole demographic of the stand-up comedy fan has changed. It's like an indie band thing. People think they've discovered you.
Jim Gaffigan
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I'd been acting and doing stand-up in New York about eight years, getting rejected, and I finally got the opportunity to do stand-up on Letterman, which holds even more importance for me. With comedians, that's definitely the pinnacle, but being from Indiana, it was a big to-do.
Jim Gaffigan
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I'm a guy who comes from a small town in the Midwest. It's not in my nature to say the most explicit things in public.
Jim Gaffigan