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As an actor, you deal with so much rejection and humiliation. When the good things come around, you tend not to trust your instincts.

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Deals
Trust
Humiliation
Actors
Instincts
Around
Rejection
Come
Instinct
Much
Tend
Good
Actor
Things
Deal

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I've always been somebody that it takes me longer to learn things, but once I learn them... I'm like a quarterback that plays best in the fourth quarter.
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Bacon bits are like the fairy dust of the food community.
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For stand-up comedians that go onstage and get to write and perform and direct, and do all these things, the allure of a television show is still there but if it doesn't offer a level of creative fulfillment, it's oddly unappealing.
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I feel guilty if I'm not reading books, but I read scripts of movies or things that I know I'm committed to that I'm going to do the project. I tell myself, I'm going to read this script like six times, and I only read it the initial time.
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I usually don't have a burger, a brat, and a steak but it is 4th of July. And I need the energy if I'm gonna start blowin crap up. It's what the founding fathers would want.
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I think the worst professional advice I received was this kind of unspoken message of sit back and wait your turn, or sit back and wait and let other people do things.
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Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew.
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My goal in life is to be as happy as a studio audience.
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Faith is something that's - it's hard to articulate. It's - there's - it's not based on logic.
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I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you're doing.
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I see some people with glasses here, I trust people with glasses, don't you? But if you're wearing your glasses like this ... Get away from 'em!
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This city has so many beautiful women. I fall in love like every ten minutes, I'm sitting on the subway, I'm like, There's my wife... there she is - oh, she's getting off. All right, there's the woman - all right, that's a man.
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I'm definitely hesitant wearing shorts during the summer. Like for a pale person, you know, summer - everyone in the world is so excited for summer, but pale people, we're just like, oh no.
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I was looking at a bottle of water they have nutritional facts printed on the side. You know, I'm no chemist, but I have a rough idea what's in water.
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Don't take this the wrong way but I care more and I'm a better online friend than you. I also spend way to much time online.
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I was watching the Animal Planet. Did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? Why don't they just call that one the female?
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Whenever one of my children says, 'Goodnight, Daddy,' I always think to myself, 'You don't mean that.
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I'd have to say Sunset Salsa. Nothing against Honey Lime, but it's for losers.
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Even when you hear about a comedian getting married, among comedians, we're always kind of like, what are they doing?
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My wife always asks me why I don't make the bed. And I respond with the same reason why I don't tie my shoes after I take them off.
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