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In Indiana, I wasn't anything special. But in New York, I've gone out with girls with purple hair who go out with me because I'm exotic!

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
York
Hair
Wasn
Special
Gone
Indiana
Girl
Exotic
Anything
Purple
Girls

More quotes by Jim Gaffigan

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It's amazing how email has changed our lives. You ever get a handwritten letter in the mail today? 'What the? Has someone been kidnapped?'
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Don't take this the wrong way but I care more and I'm a better online friend than you. I also spend way to much time online.
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Faith is something that's - it's hard to articulate. It's - there's - it's not based on logic.
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I would say some of the food I talk about that I really enjoy, like cake and bacon, I eat a lot less than I portray in my act. But that stuff that I dislike, it's pretty sincere.
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I think I have a lot of voices in my head and I guess my inner critic is a female.
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Entertainers Of Faith, funnyman Jim Gaffigan isn't ashamed of his Catholicism. He's seen here leaving a New York comedy club with his Bible in hand.
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Comedy is a very lucrative business now, but when everyone first went into it, it didn't make sense from a financial standpoint.
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We’re never satisfied when it comes to food. ‘You know what’d be good on this burger? A ham sandwich. Instead of a bun, let’s use two donuts. That way we can have it for breakfast. Look out McGriddle. Here comes the donut-ham-hamburger!’
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Whenever I'm out of town for at least a week, I feel like I should write a postcard or something, but you can be a genius, you try and write a postcard you come across like a moron anyway: 'This city's got big buildings. I like food. Bye.'
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If only opening a Vitamin Water could be classified as working out.
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Some of my fear and anxieties surrounding faith, I think, provides some good comedy for my act.
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That's my private business. Besides, the perception is that people that believe in God are stupid.
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The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.
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I know that Colbert could quote Thomas Aquinas and all this, but I'm somebody who, because it's a necessity for me on a personal basis. I need it because I'm a lunatic.
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The real question is should we trust people who don't like cheese?
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Besides hot pockets keeps introducing new products every 10 minutes so I always have new stuff on the topic.
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I love writing stand-up so much and tinkering and looking for ideas.
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I've always been somebody that it takes me longer to learn things, but once I learn them... I'm like a quarterback that plays best in the fourth quarter.
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A lot of the teachings really kind of keep me grounded.
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I'm not saying that McDonald's gift certificates caused the obesity epidemic, but in retrospect, the timing is kind of suspicious.
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