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I worked on USA Today as a topic for while. I tried to do something on hand chairs, chairs that look like hands. I really tried. But some topics are not truly universal.

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Looks
Worked
Something
Tried
Really
Universal
Like
Truly
Hand
Topic
Hands
Usa
Today
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Chairs

More quotes by Jim Gaffigan

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Besides hot pockets keeps introducing new products every 10 minutes so I always have new stuff on the topic.
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The question is the primary form of communication for little kids.
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Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?
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A lot of people are like, You're doing commercials? And I honestly feel like those Sierra Mist commercials are better than a lot of sitcoms I get offered. It's hard work, and I'm paid a lot of money, and I do it because I love the soda.
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Television's very much a writer's medium, as it probably should be, but if you're not the writer, then as the performer, you defer to that. It's just kind of how it's constructed. Is there some leeway? Yeah. But I also don't want to come across as a jerk.
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I'm there to make people laugh. I'm not trying to come across as sexy.
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Meredith Baxter Birney gets beaten by a rod, in the Lifetime Original, Rod.
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I was watching the Animal Planet. Did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? Why don't they just call that one the female?
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You ever mix two different groups of friends? That can be stressful. You always feel like you have to prep 'em. You're like, These people over here, uh, they don't think I drink. And don't be thrown by my British accent.
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I do just want to do jokes. I don't want to be a divisive figure.
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Boutique hotels are great, but they get too cute. Some hotels have shoe polish. It's like, come on, this isn't 1960. No one's polishing their shoes.
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We’re never satisfied when it comes to food. ‘You know what’d be good on this burger? A ham sandwich. Instead of a bun, let’s use two donuts. That way we can have it for breakfast. Look out McGriddle. Here comes the donut-ham-hamburger!’
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I think I have a lot of voices in my head and I guess my inner critic is a female.
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Don't you think it's strange how many referees work at Footlocker?
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There were times in my life when I had one thing to do all day, but I still couldn’t get to it. “I gotta go to the post office, but I’d probably have to put on pants. And they’re only open till five. Looks like I’m going to have to do that next week.
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I'm a guy who comes from a small town in the Midwest. It's not in my nature to say the most explicit things in public.
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I was raised in a family where my father was the first one to go to college.
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I never have free time, I don't know about you. You ever go to the cash machine, there's two people in line in front of you and you get kinda flustered, you're like Forget it! I'm not standing here for 40 seconds. I got things to do, okay?
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I'm a comedian, which is the opposite of a lifestyle that equips you to be a parent.
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Bacon is like the opposite of medicine. It's like, Take that, Lipitor.
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