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I try to only eat animals that are vegan. I'm probably the opposite of a vegan.

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Vegan
Opposite
Opposites
Animals
Probably
Animal
Trying

More quotes by Jim Gaffigan

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Well my chocolate is so good I could sell it in an obnoxious prism shape.
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How did we get to the point where we're paying for bottled water? That must have been some weird marketing meeting over in France. Some French guy's sitting there, like, How dumb do I think the Americans are? I bet you we could sell those idiots water.
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Other people's children's birthday parties are the most joyful events you will ever resent having to attend.
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How about those people who don't need sleep? What are they called again? Successful? What a bunch of dicks they are.
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Babies should be classified as an antidepressant. It's pretty hard to be in a bad mood around a 5-month-old baby.
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This city has so many beautiful women. I fall in love like every ten minutes, I'm sitting on the subway, I'm like, There's my wife... there she is - oh, she's getting off. All right, there's the woman - all right, that's a man.
Jim Gaffigan
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I spent most of my adult life essentially agnostic or an atheist.
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I was raised in a family where my father was the first one to go to college.
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I think it's important to control your opportunities, because in the entertainment world, it's not up to you. I'm not sitting here under this naïve belief that someone in Hollywood is going, Gaffigan! What kind of a show can I build around him? So you have to find things that can showcase your point of view.
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I married a woman who loves to camp, and I am what you would call indoorsy... My wife always brings up, Camping's a tradition in my family. Hey, it was a tradition in everyone's family 'til we came up with the house.
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I was looking at a bottle of water they have nutritional facts printed on the side. You know, I'm no chemist, but I have a rough idea what's in water.
Jim Gaffigan
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I'd been acting and doing stand-up in New York about eight years, getting rejected, and I finally got the opportunity to do stand-up on Letterman, which holds even more importance for me. With comedians, that's definitely the pinnacle, but being from Indiana, it was a big to-do.
Jim Gaffigan
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Some of my fear and anxieties surrounding faith, I think, provides some good comedy for my act.
Jim Gaffigan
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Thanksgiving, you know - Thanksgiving - it's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is we overeat.
Jim Gaffigan
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Most of my material is , it doesn't necessarily involve a lot of editing. So even the show with the World Meeting of Families in Philadelphia, I don't have to worry about some of the material being inappropriate.
Jim Gaffigan
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All I want to do is be a good dad, but I'm pretty bad at it.
Jim Gaffigan
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That's my private business. Besides, the perception is that people that believe in God are stupid.
Jim Gaffigan
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Pie can't compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it's a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, someone's drunk in the kitchen.
Jim Gaffigan
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I love writing stand-up so much and tinkering and looking for ideas.
Jim Gaffigan
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I grew up in a Catholic family in the Midwest. And I knew people of different faiths and people that were atheists and people that were agnostic.
Jim Gaffigan