Quote

Once you put bacon into a salad it's no longer a salad, it just becomes a game of find the bacon in the lettuce. It's like you're panning for gold, hmmmmm, EUREKA!

Jim Gaffigan

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Games
Eureka
Find
Lettuce
Like
Bacon
Salad
Gold
Longer
Becomes
Game

More quotes by Jim Gaffigan

Image
It took me a long time to understand not to get caught up in other people's expectations. It really comes down to creative fulfillment. It took me a while to realize I don't want to just be on a show to be on a show.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
Bacon is like the opposite of medicine. It's like, Take that, Lipitor.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
I was raised in a family where my father was the first one to go to college.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
Is there a homeless guy built in to the design of Dunkin' Donuts? ...There'll be an entrance here... a deranged lunatic here.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
I'm not a foodie I'm an eatie. I don't have anything against foodies. I just don't have the time or the interest to do that much research.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
Failing and laughing at your own shortcomings are the hallmarks of a sane parent.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
I spent most of my adult life essentially agnostic or an atheist.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
I think I have a lot of voices in my head and I guess my inner critic is a female.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
I'd have to say Sunset Salsa. Nothing against Honey Lime, but it's for losers.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
When I started stand-up - and this is in the '90s - there was definitely people hadn't watched decades of Comedy Central, where people are really much more educated on stand-up comedy.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
I try to only eat animals that are vegan. I'm probably the opposite of a vegan.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
Kale is a superfood and it’s special power is tasting bad.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
When you hear bacon cooking....that sizzling sound isn't the fat cooking....that's applause.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
All I want to do is be a good dad, but I'm pretty bad at it.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
Most of my material is , it doesn't necessarily involve a lot of editing. So even the show with the World Meeting of Families in Philadelphia, I don't have to worry about some of the material being inappropriate.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
I love how New York is so multicultural. I wish I was ethnic, I'm nothing. Because if you're Hispanic and you get angry, people are like, 'He's got a Latin temper!' If you're a white guy and you get angry, people are like, 'That guy's a jerk.'
Jim Gaffigan
Image
After you eat a Hot Pocket, Everything will taste like rubber for a month!
Jim Gaffigan
Image
The whole idea of comedy, there is nothing normal about going up on stage to make strangers laugh. But I'm also not an exhibitionist like other comics. I'm not up there talking about masturbating.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
Stand-up comedy in the end, unlike the rest of the entertainment industry, is a meritocracy. There's a certain level of undeniability you can work toward.
Jim Gaffigan
Image
I curse in everyday life, but usually when I stub my toe. The topics I'm discussing, it's not necessary to curse. I found [cursing] is a sign that a joke is not finished or well-written.
Jim Gaffigan