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Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
People
Annoy
Thanksgiving
Annoying
Hell

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I was able to make the jump to theaters without having a TV show. My passion for getting a TV show just plummeted. It was like I had already achieved what I wanted to achieve.
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Playing frisbee with a five year old is amazingly similar to chasing after a frisbee.
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As an actor, you deal with so much rejection and humiliation. When the good things come around, you tend not to trust your instincts.
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Who was the first person to walk into a harbor and say, Whatever that horrible smell is I want to eat it
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I went to a Catholic University and there's something about being a Catholic-American. You know, St. Patrick's Day is, I'm Irish-Catholic. There's alcoholism in my family. It's like I've got to be Catholic, right?
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Holidays are also an opportunity for kids to unlearn every good habit they've learned during the rest of the year. They don't go to school. They get to stay up past their bedtime. They get candy and presents for doing nothing. Childhood utopia.
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All I want to do is be a good dad, but I'm pretty bad at it.
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I've had plenty of friends tell me that their first time doing stand-up, they do well, and then they tank for a while after that. Kind of like the first time you do a drug, you're like, Huh! This is pretty darn good, and then you spend all your money trying to get the same high.
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Don't you think it's strange how many referees work at Footlocker?
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When our bed is made, it's covered in 40 pillows-like we're stockpiling ammo for the global pillow fight.
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I'm bald, blind and pale. I'm like a gigantic recessive gene.
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That's my private business. Besides, the perception is that people that believe in God are stupid.
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I don't think comedians make an active decision to be a certain persona. Comedians write the way they're going to write.
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I smoke crack. I get all my dancers together and we do a prayer.
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I'd have to say Sunset Salsa. Nothing against Honey Lime, but it's for losers.
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This city has so many beautiful women. I fall in love like every ten minutes, I'm sitting on the subway, I'm like, There's my wife... there she is - oh, she's getting off. All right, there's the woman - all right, that's a man.
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There were times in my life when I had one thing to do all day, but I still couldn’t get to it. “I gotta go to the post office, but I’d probably have to put on pants. And they’re only open till five. Looks like I’m going to have to do that next week.
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Comedy is a very lucrative business now, but when everyone first went into it, it didn't make sense from a financial standpoint.
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Babies and toddlers are mostly what I've been exposed to at this point. I'm hoping parenting just gets much easier after this. It does, right?
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