Quote

There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep'.

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Dad
Sleep
Happy
Song
Father
Keep
Children
Fatherhood

More quotes by Jim Gaffigan

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What was the idea behind Hot Pockets? Was there a marketing meeting somewhere, 'Hey I got an idea: How about we take a Pop-Tart and fill it with really nasty meat? You could cook it in a sleeve thing, and you could dunk it in the toilet.'
Jim Gaffigan
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Some people have their own bowling ball and their own bowling shoes... and no friends.
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How dumb do I think the Americans are? I bet you we could sell those idiots water.
Jim Gaffigan
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It took me a long time to understand not to get caught up in other people's expectations. It really comes down to creative fulfillment. It took me a while to realize I don't want to just be on a show to be on a show.
Jim Gaffigan
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Bacon is like the opposite of medicine. It's like, Take that, Lipitor.
Jim Gaffigan
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The Pearly Gates. Am I the only one who finds it odd that Heaven has gates? What kind of neighborhood is Heaven in?
Jim Gaffigan
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I'd really like to promote my increasing consumption of bacon.
Jim Gaffigan
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I love how New York is so multicultural. I wish I was ethnic, I'm nothing. Because if you're Hispanic and you get angry, people are like, 'He's got a Latin temper!' If you're a white guy and you get angry, people are like, 'That guy's a jerk.'
Jim Gaffigan
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The question is the primary form of communication for little kids.
Jim Gaffigan
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Don't take this the wrong way but I care more and I'm a better online friend than you. I also spend way to much time online.
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I always seem to be chosen to do very flattering things like the beard comb over or go to the bathroom with the door open on Sex and the City or be the guy people meow at in Super Troopers. It's great for self esteem.
Jim Gaffigan
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I'm much more interested in making people laugh than getting applause breaks.
Jim Gaffigan
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It's good to be back in New York. I have lived here ten years. I'm originally from Indiana. I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana: Mafia. But the fact of the matter is where I grew up there was something very similar to the Mafia: 4-H.
Jim Gaffigan
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It's weird, I love acting and stand-up is a very unique, solitary thing where you are the writer, performer and director. But acting is incredibly rewarding, working and interacting with people to create funny moments. I can't imagine not doing acting or stand-up, I really enjoy both of them that much.
Jim Gaffigan
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Besides hot pockets keeps introducing new products every 10 minutes so I always have new stuff on the topic.
Jim Gaffigan
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Imagine you're drowning, and someone hands you a baby.
Jim Gaffigan
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Don't you think it's strange how many referees work at Footlocker?
Jim Gaffigan
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Bacon's the best, even the frying of bacon sounds like an applause.
Jim Gaffigan
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I only dated one Asian girl, but she was very Asian. She was a panda.
Jim Gaffigan
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It's not as if ten years ago, we were like, 'I wish I could take low quality photos of my dessert.'
Jim Gaffigan