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I love sleep. I need sleep. We all do, of course. There are those people that don't need sleep. I think they're called 'successful.

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Successful
Need
Needs
Love
Think
Courses
Thinking
Course
People
Sleep
Called

More quotes by Jim Gaffigan

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It's kind of hard to articulate, but, like, this notion of mercy, forgiveness, was very appealing for me. It was very profound. And it had a deep impact, and I think it still does.
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Have you seen the bologna that has the olives in it? Who's that for? 'I like my bologna like a martini. With an olive.' 'I'll have the bologna sandwich - dirty.'
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I'm definitely hesitant wearing shorts during the summer. Like for a pale person, you know, summer - everyone in the world is so excited for summer, but pale people, we're just like, oh no.
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Whenever one of my children says, 'Goodnight, Daddy,' I always think to myself, 'You don't mean that.
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I saw this college team bowling championship. Each team had their own coach. What kind of strategy advice is a bowling coach giving? You know what? This time Timmy, I want you to knock down all the pins. You sure? Trust me. Just do it son!
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Well my chocolate is so good I could sell it in an obnoxious prism shape.
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There's something about being a parent that has, I think, made me a better comedian.
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You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.
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Once you identify yourself as believing something, you open yourself to ridicule.
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I don't want people to think I believe in God.
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Playing frisbee with a five year old is amazingly similar to chasing after a frisbee.
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The idea of being a practicing Catholic, it's - for me, it's like - I need a lot of practice, you know what I mean?
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I married a woman who loves to camp, and I am what you would call indoorsy... My wife always brings up, Camping's a tradition in my family. Hey, it was a tradition in everyone's family 'til we came up with the house.
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You know, I want to teach, but I don’t want to read?
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My kids are always awake. It's they're taking shifts. 'Alright, I'll annoy 'em from midnight to . Who wants to ?'
Jim Gaffigan
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Steakhouses sort of have this old-school nature to them they're like museums full of good food. It's fun hearing the waiter share his expertise on the different cuts of beef and how they're going to cut up your baked potato.
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When you have five little kids, you're not going to open Mindy Kaling's latest book. You're playing with your kids.
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I'm bald, blind and pale. I'm like a gigantic recessive gene.
Jim Gaffigan
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I know that Colbert could quote Thomas Aquinas and all this, but I'm somebody who, because it's a necessity for me on a personal basis. I need it because I'm a lunatic.
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I got up early because I wanted to. - Nobody
Jim Gaffigan