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In my judgment, my buildings are less likely to burn to the ground during one of your visits if you are disoriented from being treated like a sultan.

Jim Butcher

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Jim Butcher
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: October 26
Actor
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Independence
Missouri
Ground
Judgment
Sultan
Disoriented
Building
Visits
Less
Buildings
Like
Burn
Likely
Treated

More quotes by Jim Butcher

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It turns out that Molly wasn't her mother's daughter in that respect. Charity was like the MacGuyver of the kitchen. She could whip up a five-course meal for twelve from an egg, two spaghetti noodles, some household chemicals, and a stick of chewing gum. Molly ... Molly once burned my egg. My boiled egg. I don't know how.
Jim Butcher
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Have you ever been approached by a grim-looking man, carrying a naked sword with a blade about ten miles long in his hand, in the middle of the night, beneath the stars on the shores of Lake Michigan? If you have, seek professional help. If you have not, then believe you me, it can scare the bejeezus out of you.
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Evil isn’t the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as Evil, maybe more so, and it’s a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against Stupid. That might actually make a difference.
Jim Butcher
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Maybe,” he said in a slow, rural drawl, “you could explain to me why I found you in the middle of an orgy.” “Well,” I said, “if you’re going to be in an orgy, the middle is the best spot, isn’t it.
Jim Butcher
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It was never too late to learn something. The past is unalterable in any event. The future is the only thing we can change. Learning the lessons of the past is the only way to shape the present and the future.
Jim Butcher
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The movie of my life must be really low budget.
Jim Butcher
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Let's sum up: an unknown number of enemies with unknown capabilities, supported by a gang of madmen, packs of attack animals, and superhumanly intelligent pocket change.
Jim Butcher
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Regardless of what I think about Islam or Wicca or any other religion, the fact is that it's a group of people. Every faith has its ceremonies. And since it's made up of people, every faith also has its assholes.
Jim Butcher
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Sometimes it isn't easy to be sane, smart, and responsible. Sometimes it sucks. Sucks wang. Camel wang. But that doesn't turn wrong into right or stupid into smart.
Jim Butcher
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The fire of my tribulations had not simply been pain to be endured. It had been an agent of transformation. After all that I'd been through, I'd changed. Not for the worse, I was pretty sure--at least not yet. But only a moron or a freaking lunatic could have faced the things I had and remained unfazed by them.
Jim Butcher
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Heroism doesn't pay very well. I try to be cold-blooded and money-oriented, but I keep screwing it up.
Jim Butcher
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Paranoid? Probably. But just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face.
Jim Butcher
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But I am dead certain--ba-dump-bump-ching--that I'm the first guy to lead an army of spirits in an assault from the spirit-world side...and had them start off screaming, BOO!
Jim Butcher
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When you do something stupid and die, it's pathetic, I said. When you do something stupid and survive it, then you get to call it impressive or heroic.
Jim Butcher
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The wacky thing about those bad guys is that you can't count on them to be obvious. They forget to wax their mustaches and goatees, leave their horns at home, send their black hats to the dry cleaner's. They're funny like that.
Jim Butcher
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It's not my fault all women like motorcycles, Murph. They're basically huge vibrators. With wheels.
Jim Butcher
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Sullen monosyllabism, a sure sign of sleep deprivation.
Jim Butcher
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I lunged, low and quick, and drove about a foot of cold steel into his danglies. Hey, I don't care what kind of fearie or mortal or hideous creature you are. If you've got danglies, and can loose them, that's the kind of sight that makes you reconsider the possible genitalia-related ramifications of your actions real damned quick.
Jim Butcher
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Night wasn't so much falling as sharpening its claws.
Jim Butcher
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Sheep can befriend a hungry wolf only for briefly.
Jim Butcher