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Erlking,” I told her. “Big-time bad guy. Wants to eat me.” “Why?” she asked. “Well. I met him,” I said.

Jim Butcher

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Jim Butcher
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: October 26
Actor
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Independence
Missouri
Wants
Told
Guy
Bigs
Wells
Well
Time
Mets
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More quotes by Jim Butcher

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The wacky thing about those bad guys is that you can't count on them to be obvious. They forget to wax their mustaches and goatees, leave their horns at home, send their black hats to the dry cleaner's. They're funny like that.
Jim Butcher
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Life is full of toil, sacrifice, and pain, and from the time we stop growing, we know that we've begun dying. We watch helplessly as year by year, our bodies age and fail, while our survival instincts compel us to keep on going-which means living with the terrifying knowledge that ultimately death is inescapable.
Jim Butcher
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I kept a straight face while my inner Neanderthal spluttered and then went on a mental rampage through a hypothetical produce section, knocking over shelves and spattering fruit everywhere in sheer frustration, screaming, 'JUST TELL ME WHOSE SKULL TO CRACK WITH MY CLUB, DAMMIT!
Jim Butcher
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Hello Angel,'Michael rumbled, and leaned over to give the woman a kiss on the cheek. She accepted it with all the loving tolerance of a Komodo dragon. 'Don't you hello angel me. Do you know what I had to go through to find a baby-sitter, get all the way out here, get the money together and then get the sword back for you?
Jim Butcher
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There's a fine line between audacity and idiocy.
Jim Butcher
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It was one of those moments that would have had dramatic music if my life were a movie, but instead I got a radio jingle for some kind of submarine sandwich place blaring over the store's ambient stereo. The movie of my life must be really low-budget.
Jim Butcher
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Fire isn't always an element of destruction. Classical alchemical doctrine teaches that it also has dominion over another province: change.
Jim Butcher
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You're a cop. I need a doughnut.
Jim Butcher
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I'm brilliant as well as skilled, he said modestly. It's a great burden, all of that on top of my angelic good looks. But I try to soldier on as best I can.
Jim Butcher
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You don't take your cat with you to go bird shopping. Not because the cat isn't polite, but because he's a cat.
Jim Butcher
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It isn't good to hold on too hard to the past. You can't spend your whole life looking back. Not even when you can't see what lies ahead. All you can do is keep on keeping on, and try to believe that tomorrow will be what it should be—even if it isn't what you expected.
Jim Butcher
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We have now left Reason and Sanity Junction. Next stop, Looneyville.
Jim Butcher
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[Mouse is] with us. The dog is a handicap-assist animal. The kid lifted his eyebrows. My mouth is partially paralyzed, I said. It makes it hard for me to rea. He's here to help me with the big words. Tell me if I'm supposed to push or pull on doors, that kind of thing.
Jim Butcher
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There is, I think, humor here which does not translate well from English into sanity.
Jim Butcher
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There should be a rule against your own inner monologue throwing around that much sarcasm.
Jim Butcher
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Thwart, I said. To prevent someone from accomplishing something by means of visiting gratuitous violence upon his smarmy person. I'm pretty sure that isn't the definition. Sarissa said. It is today.
Jim Butcher
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I checked my gear, my pockets, my shoelaces, and realized that I had crossed the line between making sure I was ready and trying to postpone the inevitable.
Jim Butcher
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I mean it, I said. You're in danger. Relax, Harry. I'm not letting anyone lick me, and I'm not looking anyone in the eyes. It's kind of like visiting New York.
Jim Butcher
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Okay, Kincaid said. Anyone have any questions? Why do they sell hot dogs in packages of ten but hot dog buns in packages of eight?
Jim Butcher
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That’s the problem with you nearly immortal types,” I said. “You couldn’t spot a pop culture reference if it skittered up and implanted an embryo down your esophagus.
Jim Butcher