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I kept a straight face while my inner Neanderthal spluttered and then went on a mental rampage through a hypothetical produce section, knocking over shelves and spattering fruit everywhere in sheer frustration, screaming, 'JUST TELL ME WHOSE SKULL TO CRACK WITH MY CLUB, DAMMIT!

Jim Butcher

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Jim Butcher
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: October 26
Actor
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Independence
Missouri
Tell
Everywhere
Cracks
Skull
Fruit
Sheer
Skulls
Inner
Frustration
Section
Whose
Club
Knocking
Neanderthal
Produce
Clubs
Screaming
Rampage
Went
Straight
Sections
Neanderthals
Face
Kept
Crack
Dammit
Faces
Mental
Shelves
Hypothetical

More quotes by Jim Butcher

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I found him in a Dumpster one day when he was a kitten and he promptly adopted me. Despite my struggles, Mister had been an understanding soul, and I eventually came to realize that I was a part of his little family, and by his gracious consent was allowed to remain in his apartment. Cats. Go figure.
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Jump into an open grave? What kind of idiot are you? Butters replied. I might as well put on a red shirt and volunteer for the away team. There's snow and ice and slippery mud down there. That's like asking for an ironically broken neck.
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Life is precious, fragile, fleeting - and Murphy's life was one of my favorites.
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Pansy, Murphy sneered. Thomas leered at her. You make my stamen tingle when you talk like that, Sergeant.
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My friend is going to save a little girl from monsters. I am going with him. That's what friends do.
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He had hard, steady eyes, and all the comforting, reassuring charm of a dental drill. - Harry Dresden describing Morgan
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A succubus on the set. Strike that, the health-conscious kid sister made it two… succubuses. Succubusees? Succubi? Stupid Latin correspondence course.
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Thomas has the kind of whiter-than-white boyish grin that makes women's panties spontaneously evaporate.
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Many women have earned titles, Your Grace. It doesn't seem to have been a factor in whether or not they actually received them.
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You think this is going to work? This peaceful summit thing?” “Sure,” I said. After a second, I added, “Probably.” “Probably?” “Maybe,” I said. “We’re down to maybe now?” I shrugged. “We’ll see.
Jim Butcher
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Jobs are a part of life. Maybe you've heard of the concept. It's called work? See, what happens is that you suffer through doing annoying and humiliating things until you get paid not enough money. Like those Japanese game shows, only without all the glory.
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No one is an unjust villain in his own mind. Even - perhaps even especially those who are the worst of us. Some of the cruelest tyrants in history were motivated by noble ideals, or made choices they would call hard but necessary for the good of their nation. We're all the hero of our own story.
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Now I feel like James Bond. Suave and intelligent, breaking all the codes while looking fabulous.
Jim Butcher
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Night wasn't so much falling as sharpening its claws.
Jim Butcher
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My head was throbbing, and my hands were shaking, but I went down the ladder to my workroom - and started figuring out how to rip someone's heart out of his chest from fifty miles away. Who says I never do anything fun on a Friday night?
Jim Butcher
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...the Female Once-Over - a process by which one woman creates a detailed profile of another woman based upon about a million subtle details of clothing, jewelry, makeup, and body type, and then decides how much of a social threat she might be. Men have a parallel process, but it's binary: Does he have beer? If yes, will he share with me?
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Magic comes from what is inside you. It is a part of you. You can't weave together a spell that you don't beleive in.
Jim Butcher
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Everyone stopped to blink at that for a second. I mean, come on. Impaled by a guided frozen turkey missile. Even by the standards of the quasi-immortal creatures of the night, that ain't something you see twice. For my next trick, I panted into the startled silence, anvils.
Jim Butcher
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In my judgment, my buildings are less likely to burn to the ground during one of your visits if you are disoriented from being treated like a sultan.
Jim Butcher
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Life would be unbearably dull if we had answers to all our questions.
Jim Butcher