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Because nothing says flattery like a gun to the head.

Jim Butcher

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Jim Butcher
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: October 26
Actor
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Independence
Missouri
Flattery
Gun
Says
Head
Nothing
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More quotes by Jim Butcher

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You need a prostate to understand,” I said.
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Harry Dresden. Saving the world, one act of random destruction at a time.
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The best thing about my faerie godmother is that the creepy just keeps on coming.
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Sometimes I hate having a conscience, and a stupidly thorough sense of honor.
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Bob wasn't precisely a friend to me but... I was used to him. In a way he was family, the mouthy, annoying, irritable cousin who was always insulting you but who was definitely at Thanksgiving dinner. I had never considered the possibility that one day he might be something else.
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Maybe the Merlin was right. Maybe its better to look stupid but strong, than it is to look smart but weak, I don't know. I'm not sure I want to believe that the world stage bears that strong a resemblance to high school.
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Okay, Kincaid said. Anyone have any questions? Why do they sell hot dogs in packages of ten but hot dog buns in packages of eight?
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The U.S. isn't a perfect place, but it's better than most people have managed to come up with. And all my stuff is there.
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I put it down to the paranoia of advancing age. It isn't like I'm all that old or anything, especially for a wizard, but age is always advancing and I'm fairly sure it's up to no good.
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And thrice do I say to thee...bite me.
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If you can't stop the bad thoughts from coming to visit, at least you can make fun of them while they're hanging around.
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You think this is going to work? This peaceful summit thing?” “Sure,” I said. After a second, I added, “Probably.” “Probably?” “Maybe,” I said. “We’re down to maybe now?” I shrugged. “We’ll see.
Jim Butcher
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I felt like I had just double-tapped Santa.
Jim Butcher
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There was a sound like a human yawn, and then the skull turned slightly toward me and asked, What's up, boss? Evil's afoot. Well, sure, Bob said, because it refuses to learn the metric system. Otherwise it'd be up to a meter by now.
Jim Butcher
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Are you always a smartass?' Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep.
Jim Butcher
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Have you ever been approached by a grim-looking man, carrying a naked sword with a blade about ten miles long in his hand, in the middle of the night, beneath the stars on the shores of Lake Michigan? If you have, seek professional help. If you have not, then believe you me, it can scare the bejeezus out of you.
Jim Butcher
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Oh, I forgot to mention it: My brother is the kind of man whom women stalk. In cooperative packs.
Jim Butcher
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Passion has overthrown tyrants and freed prisoners and slaves. Passion has brought justice where there was savagery. Passion has created freedom where there was nothing but fear. Passion has helped souls rise from the ashes of their horrible lives and build something better, stronger, more beautiful.
Jim Butcher
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Life is full of toil, sacrifice, and pain, and from the time we stop growing, we know that we've begun dying. We watch helplessly as year by year, our bodies age and fail, while our survival instincts compel us to keep on going-which means living with the terrifying knowledge that ultimately death is inescapable.
Jim Butcher
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The fire of my tribulations had not simply been pain to be endured. It had been an agent of transformation. After all that I'd been through, I'd changed. Not for the worse, I was pretty sure--at least not yet. But only a moron or a freaking lunatic could have faced the things I had and remained unfazed by them.
Jim Butcher