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There is no spoon. I am completely spoonless over here.

Jim Butcher

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Jim Butcher
Age: 52
Born: 1971
Born: October 26
Actor
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Independence
Missouri
Completely
Spoon
Spoons

More quotes by Jim Butcher

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You're in America now, I said. Our idea of diplomacy is showing up with a gun in one hand and a sandwich in the other and asking which you'd prefer.
Jim Butcher
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I'd been in hairier situations than this one. Actually, it's sort of depressing, thinking how many times I'd been in them. But if experience had taught me anything, it was this: No matter how screwed up things are, they can get a whole lot worse.
Jim Butcher
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There are things you can't walk away from. Not if you want to live with yourself afterward.
Jim Butcher
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The next time you interfere with me, more than smoke will interfere with you.
Jim Butcher
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Put some clothes on, you weird, yellow-eyed, table-dancing, werewolf-training, cryptic, stare-me-right-in-the-eyes-and-don't-even-blink wench.
Jim Butcher
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That’s the problem with you nearly immortal types,” I said. “You couldn’t spot a pop culture reference if it skittered up and implanted an embryo down your esophagus.
Jim Butcher
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Over the course of many encounters and many years, I have successfully developed a standard operating procedure for dealing with big, nasty monsters. Run away.
Jim Butcher
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Jump into an open grave? What kind of idiot are you? Butters replied. I might as well put on a red shirt and volunteer for the away team. There's snow and ice and slippery mud down there. That's like asking for an ironically broken neck.
Jim Butcher
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Demonreach only wants Harry to see what's going on. Why doesn't it just marry him? Thomas muttered under his breath. It sort of did, I said. My brother the... geosexual?
Jim Butcher
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Everyone stopped to blink at that for a second. I mean, come on. Impaled by a guided frozen turkey missile. Even by the standards of the quasi-immortal creatures of the night, that ain't something you see twice. For my next trick, I panted into the startled silence, anvils.
Jim Butcher
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My main source for faith-based stuff is mostly the Bible, and a childhood with a much, much higher-than-median exposure to theological thought.
Jim Butcher
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There is, I think, humor here which does not translate well from English into sanity.
Jim Butcher
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I had to smile at the man. I mean, you have to smile at idiots and children.
Jim Butcher
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How long have you been a Wiccan?' 'A what?' 'A pagan. A witch.' 'I'm not a witch,' I said, glancing out the door. 'I'm a wizard.' Sanya frowned. 'What is the difference?' 'Wizard has a Z' He looked at me blankly. 'No one appreciates me.' I muttered.
Jim Butcher
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Thank God for wisecracks.
Jim Butcher
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Just remember that you're on my list, Marcone. Soon as I get done with all the other evils in this town, you won't be the lesser of them anymore. Marcone stared at me with half-lidded eyes and said, Eek.
Jim Butcher
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Pretty please. With sugar.
Jim Butcher
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There aren't any magical words, really. Words just hold the magic.
Jim Butcher
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Isana felt her throat tighten. We failed. Serai lifted her chin and patted Isana's arm firmly. We have not yet succeeded. There is a difference.
Jim Butcher
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Do you want your blood to stay where it is sochar-lar? Tavi lifted both eyebrows at the unfamiliar word, and glanced at Varg. Monkey, Varg supplied, in Aleran. And male-child. He called me monkey boy? Tavi asked.
Jim Butcher