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There should be a rule against your own inner monologue throwing around that much sarcasm.

Jim Butcher

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Jim Butcher
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: October 26
Actor
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Independence
Missouri
Monologue
Monologues
Sarcasm
Throwing
Inner
Rule
Around
Much

More quotes by Jim Butcher

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I've always felt that the best whips and chains are in the mind. With a little creativity, the physical ones are hardly necessary.
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I mean it, I said. You're in danger. Relax, Harry. I'm not letting anyone lick me, and I'm not looking anyone in the eyes. It's kind of like visiting New York.
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Molly blinked, then looked at Thomas and said, Wait a minute.... We're his flunkies. You, may be, Thomas said, sneering. I'm his thug. I'm way higher than a flunky. You are high if you think I'm taking any orders from you, Molly said tartly.
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A technicality I'm prepared to hide wildly behind.
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I could buy that she would murder me in a fit of rage, poison me out of flaming jealousy, or bomb my car out of sheer, stubborn pique. But she would never do it and feel nothing.
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Murphy had found a spot on the street, which made me wonder if she didn't have some kind of magical talent after all. Only some kind of precognitive ESP could have gotten us a parking space on the street, in the shadow of a building, with both of us in sight of the apartment building's entrance.
Jim Butcher
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The building was on fire, and it wasn’t my fault.
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It turns out that Molly wasn't her mother's daughter in that respect. Charity was like the MacGuyver of the kitchen. She could whip up a five-course meal for twelve from an egg, two spaghetti noodles, some household chemicals, and a stick of chewing gum. Molly ... Molly once burned my egg. My boiled egg. I don't know how.
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I kept a straight face while my inner Neanderthal spluttered and then went on a mental rampage through a hypothetical produce section, knocking over shelves and spattering fruit everywhere in sheer frustration, screaming, 'JUST TELL ME WHOSE SKULL TO CRACK WITH MY CLUB, DAMMIT!
Jim Butcher
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There aren't any magical words, really. Words just hold the magic.
Jim Butcher
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Here had lived someone else who knew that the only thing waiting at home was a sense of loneliness. Sometimes it is comforting. Most often, it isn't.
Jim Butcher
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Likest thou jelly within thy doughnut?
Jim Butcher
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When you do something stupid and die, it's pathetic, I said. When you do something stupid and survive it, then you get to call it impressive or heroic.
Jim Butcher
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When you die, do you want to feel ashamed of what you've done with your life? Feel ashamed of what your life meant?
Jim Butcher
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Love this job, Sanya murmured. Just love it. I need to challenge more people to duels, Thomas said in agreement. Men are pigs, Murphy said. Amen, said Molly. Lea gave me a prim look and said, I've not sacrificed a holy virgin in ages.
Jim Butcher
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It is the prerogative of wizards to be grumpy. It is not, however, the prerogative of freelance consultants who are late on their rent, so instead of saying something smart, I told the woman on the phone, Yes, ma'am. How can I help you today?
Jim Butcher
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Life is too short, Harry. And there's nowhere near enough joy in it. If you find it, grab it. Before it's gone.
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Oh, I get it, I said. You're Evil Harry, lurking inside Good Harry. Right? And you only come out at night?
Jim Butcher
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Laughter, like love, has power to survive the worst things life has to offer. And to do it with style.
Jim Butcher
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I don't know about your true form, but the weight of your ego sure is pushing the crust of the earth toward the breaking point.
Jim Butcher