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There should be a rule against your own inner monologue throwing around that much sarcasm.

Jim Butcher

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Jim Butcher
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: October 26
Actor
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Independence
Missouri
Inner
Rule
Around
Much
Monologue
Monologues
Sarcasm
Throwing

More quotes by Jim Butcher

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If your opponent has you by fifty pounds, winning a fight against him is a dubious proposition, at best. If your opponent has you by eight thousand and fifty pounds, you’ve left the realm of combat and enrolled yourself in Road-kill 101. Or possibly in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.
Jim Butcher
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Love this job, Sanya murmured. Just love it. I need to challenge more people to duels, Thomas said in agreement. Men are pigs, Murphy said. Amen, said Molly. Lea gave me a prim look and said, I've not sacrificed a holy virgin in ages.
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Do you want your blood to stay where it is sochar-lar? Tavi lifted both eyebrows at the unfamiliar word, and glanced at Varg. Monkey, Varg supplied, in Aleran. And male-child. He called me monkey boy? Tavi asked.
Jim Butcher
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Am I going to be able to provide a real home for her, man? An education? A real life? What's her college application going to look like: 'Raised on Spooky Island by wizard with GED, please help'?
Jim Butcher
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Not gonna bind ya or break ya, old spirit. Just gonna kick your ass up between your ears.
Jim Butcher
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Billy squinted at me. Why are you letting them go? Because they're real. How do you know? The one I was holding crapped on my hand.
Jim Butcher
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Many women have earned titles, Your Grace. It doesn't seem to have been a factor in whether or not they actually received them.
Jim Butcher
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I like to stay cozy with my paranoia, not pass her around to my friends and family.
Jim Butcher
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Murphy had found a spot on the street, which made me wonder if she didn't have some kind of magical talent after all. Only some kind of precognitive ESP could have gotten us a parking space on the street, in the shadow of a building, with both of us in sight of the apartment building's entrance.
Jim Butcher
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Wizards and computers get along about as well as flamethrowers and libraries.
Jim Butcher
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...the Female Once-Over - a process by which one woman creates a detailed profile of another woman based upon about a million subtle details of clothing, jewelry, makeup, and body type, and then decides how much of a social threat she might be. Men have a parallel process, but it's binary: Does he have beer? If yes, will he share with me?
Jim Butcher
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Sometimes it isn't easy to be sane, smart, and responsible. Sometimes it sucks. Sucks wang. Camel wang. But that doesn't turn wrong into right or stupid into smart.
Jim Butcher
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I guess maybe you don’t get to be the Merlin of the White Council by saving up frequent-flier miles
Jim Butcher
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I had to smile at the man. I mean, you have to smile at idiots and children.
Jim Butcher
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My head was throbbing, and my hands were shaking, but I went down the ladder to my workroom - and started figuring out how to rip someone's heart out of his chest from fifty miles away. Who says I never do anything fun on a Friday night?
Jim Butcher
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There is no spoon. I am completely spoonless over here.
Jim Butcher
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Put some clothes on, you weird, yellow-eyed, table-dancing, werewolf-training, cryptic, stare-me-right-in-the-eyes-and-don't-even-blink wench.
Jim Butcher
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I felt my face stretch in a victorious smile. The potion had worked. I was inside. I had to suppress an urge to break into a soft shoe routine. Sometimes being able to use magic was so cool.
Jim Butcher
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It was never too late to learn something. The past is unalterable in any event. The future is the only thing we can change. Learning the lessons of the past is the only way to shape the present and the future.
Jim Butcher
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The human mind isn't a terribly logical or consistent place. Most people, given the choice to face a hideous or terrifying truth or to conveniently avoid it, choose the convenience and peace of normality. That doesn't make them strong or weak people, or good or bad people. It just makes them people.
Jim Butcher