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You're dead, son. Cheer is contraindicated.

Jim Butcher

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Jim Butcher
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: October 26
Actor
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Independence
Missouri
Son
Dead
Cheer

More quotes by Jim Butcher

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I do not need the written code of a spiritual belief to act like a decent human being.
Jim Butcher
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Chili dogs, funnel cakes, fried bread, majorly greasy pizza, candy apples, ye gods. Evil food smells amazing -- which is either proof that there is a Satan or some equivalent out there, or that the Almighty doesn't actually want everyone to eat organic tofu all the time. I can't decide.
Jim Butcher
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You think this is going to work? This peaceful summit thing?” “Sure,” I said. After a second, I added, “Probably.” “Probably?” “Maybe,” I said. “We’re down to maybe now?” I shrugged. “We’ll see.
Jim Butcher
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[Mouse is] with us. The dog is a handicap-assist animal. The kid lifted his eyebrows. My mouth is partially paralyzed, I said. It makes it hard for me to rea. He's here to help me with the big words. Tell me if I'm supposed to push or pull on doors, that kind of thing.
Jim Butcher
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Even in winter, the cold isn't always bitter, and not every day is cruel.
Jim Butcher
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In the name of the Pizza Lord. Charge!
Jim Butcher
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It rained toads the day the White Council came to town.
Jim Butcher
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Punctuality is for people with nothing better to do
Jim Butcher
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So there I was being strangled by a ranting, half-naked madman in the middle of the woods, with a she-werewolf dangling from a rope snare somewhere nearby.
Jim Butcher
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The U.S. isn't a perfect place, but it's better than most people have managed to come up with. And all my stuff is there.
Jim Butcher
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I lunged, low and quick, and drove about a foot of cold steel into his danglies. Hey, I don't care what kind of fearie or mortal or hideous creature you are. If you've got danglies, and can loose them, that's the kind of sight that makes you reconsider the possible genitalia-related ramifications of your actions real damned quick.
Jim Butcher
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You need a prostate to understand,” I said.
Jim Butcher
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Molly blinked, then looked at Thomas and said, Wait a minute.... We're his flunkies. You, may be, Thomas said, sneering. I'm his thug. I'm way higher than a flunky. You are high if you think I'm taking any orders from you, Molly said tartly.
Jim Butcher
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It would require a singularly stupid man to go hang around in narrow tunnels and cramped spaces alongside a threat like that. And I, Harry Dresden, am that man, I stated.
Jim Butcher
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A succubus on the set. Strike that, the health-conscious kid sister made it two… succubuses. Succubusees? Succubi? Stupid Latin correspondence course.
Jim Butcher
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Mab turned back to me and eyed me up and down. She quirked one eyebrow, very slightly, somehow conveying layers of disapproval toward multiple aspects of my appearance, conduct, and situation, and said, 'Finally.' 'There’s been a lot on my mind,' I replied. 'It seems unlikely that your cares will lighten,' Queen Mab replied. 'Improve your mind.'
Jim Butcher
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The best thing about my faerie godmother is that the creepy just keeps on coming.
Jim Butcher
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If your opponent has you by fifty pounds, winning a fight against him is a dubious proposition, at best. If your opponent has you by eight thousand and fifty pounds, you’ve left the realm of combat and enrolled yourself in Road-kill 101. Or possibly in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.
Jim Butcher
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If you can't stop the bad thoughts from coming to visit, at least you can make fun of them while they're hanging around.
Jim Butcher
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Because a sound tree doesn't have bad roots, Amara. No enterprise of greatness begins with treachery, with lying to the people who trust and love you
Jim Butcher