Quote

I felt like I had just double-tapped Santa.

Jim Butcher

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jim Butcher
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: October 26
Actor
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Independence
Missouri
Tapped
Santa
Double
Felt
Like

More quotes by Jim Butcher

Image
I like to stay cozy with my paranoia, not pass her around to my friends and family.
Jim Butcher
Image
I had to smile at the man. I mean, you have to smile at idiots and children.
Jim Butcher
Image
If you shoot, I will kill her before I die. Yes, Kitai said in a patient tone. Which is why I have not shot you. Yet.
Jim Butcher
Image
Erlking,” I told her. “Big-time bad guy. Wants to eat me.” “Why?” she asked. “Well. I met him,” I said.
Jim Butcher
Image
Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. It always has been.
Jim Butcher
Image
Fire isn't always an element of destruction. Classical alchemical doctrine teaches that it also has dominion over another province: change.
Jim Butcher
Image
Many things are not as they seem: The worst things in life never are.
Jim Butcher
Image
[Mouse is] with us. The dog is a handicap-assist animal. The kid lifted his eyebrows. My mouth is partially paralyzed, I said. It makes it hard for me to rea. He's here to help me with the big words. Tell me if I'm supposed to push or pull on doors, that kind of thing.
Jim Butcher
Image
So there I was being strangled by a ranting, half-naked madman in the middle of the woods, with a she-werewolf dangling from a rope snare somewhere nearby.
Jim Butcher
Image
It is the prerogative of wizards to be grumpy. It is not, however, the prerogative of freelance consultants who are late on their rent, so instead of saying something smart, I told the woman on the phone, Yes, ma'am. How can I help you today?
Jim Butcher
Image
I mean it, I said. You're in danger. Relax, Harry. I'm not letting anyone lick me, and I'm not looking anyone in the eyes. It's kind of like visiting New York.
Jim Butcher
Image
Many women have earned titles, Your Grace. It doesn't seem to have been a factor in whether or not they actually received them.
Jim Butcher
Image
Honey, I liked the Harry Potter movies, too, but that doesn’t mean I ran out and got a Dark Mark tattooed onto my left forearm like you did.
Jim Butcher
Image
It turns out that Molly wasn't her mother's daughter in that respect. Charity was like the MacGuyver of the kitchen. She could whip up a five-course meal for twelve from an egg, two spaghetti noodles, some household chemicals, and a stick of chewing gum. Molly ... Molly once burned my egg. My boiled egg. I don't know how.
Jim Butcher
Image
HARRY DRESDEN—WIZARD Lost Items Found. Paranormal Investigations. Consulting. Advice. Reasonable Rates. No Love Potions, Endless Purses, Parties, or Other Entertainment
Jim Butcher
Image
You're dead, son. Cheer is contraindicated.
Jim Butcher
Image
That’s the problem with you nearly immortal types,” I said. “You couldn’t spot a pop culture reference if it skittered up and implanted an embryo down your esophagus.
Jim Butcher
Image
Chili dogs, funnel cakes, fried bread, majorly greasy pizza, candy apples, ye gods. Evil food smells amazing -- which is either proof that there is a Satan or some equivalent out there, or that the Almighty doesn't actually want everyone to eat organic tofu all the time. I can't decide.
Jim Butcher
Image
Could a man's heart, his soul, perish and yet leave him walking and talking as if alive?
Jim Butcher
Image
All right. Tell me what I'm looking at. From the improvised Rolling Stones T-shirt bag tied to my sash, Bob the Skull said, in his most caustic voice, A giant pair of cartoon lips. I muttered a curse and fumbled with the shirt until one of the skull's glowing orange eye sockets was visible. A big goofy magic nerd! Bob said.
Jim Butcher