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Wizards and computers get along about as well as flamethrowers and libraries.

Jim Butcher

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Jim Butcher
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: October 26
Actor
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Independence
Missouri
Wizards
Libraries
Computers
Library
Computer
Along
Wells
Well
Dresden

More quotes by Jim Butcher

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I'd been in hairier situations than this one. Actually, it's sort of depressing, thinking how many times I'd been in them. But if experience had taught me anything, it was this: No matter how screwed up things are, they can get a whole lot worse.
Jim Butcher
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No matter where you go, there you are. (Uriel to Harry Dresden)
Jim Butcher
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Love this job, Sanya murmured. Just love it. I need to challenge more people to duels, Thomas said in agreement. Men are pigs, Murphy said. Amen, said Molly. Lea gave me a prim look and said, I've not sacrificed a holy virgin in ages.
Jim Butcher
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You rush a miracle worker, you get lousy miracles!
Jim Butcher
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...the Female Once-Over - a process by which one woman creates a detailed profile of another woman based upon about a million subtle details of clothing, jewelry, makeup, and body type, and then decides how much of a social threat she might be. Men have a parallel process, but it's binary: Does he have beer? If yes, will he share with me?
Jim Butcher
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Harry, Bob drawled, his eye lights flickering smugly, what you know about women, I could juggle.
Jim Butcher
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Thwart, I said. To prevent someone from accomplishing something by means of visiting gratuitous violence upon his smarmy person. I'm pretty sure that isn't the definition. Sarissa said. It is today.
Jim Butcher
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Whenever you've got a choice, do good, kiddo. It isn't always fun or easy, but in the long run it makes your life better.
Jim Butcher
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I had to smile at the man. I mean, you have to smile at idiots and children.
Jim Butcher
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I still can't believe, Michael said, sotto voce, that you came to the Vampires' Masquerade Ball dressed as a vampire.
Jim Butcher
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I just stood there staring, because while I've seen a lot of weird things, I hadn't ever seen that.
Jim Butcher
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I've always felt that the best whips and chains are in the mind. With a little creativity, the physical ones are hardly necessary.
Jim Butcher
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There aren't any magical words, really. Words just hold the magic.
Jim Butcher
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I slammed the doors open a little harder than I needed to, stalked out to the Blue Beetle, and drove away with all the raging power the ancient four-cylinder engine should muster. Behold the angry wizard puttputt-putting away.
Jim Butcher
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Sometimes it isn't easy to be sane, smart, and responsible. Sometimes it sucks. Sucks wang. Camel wang. But that doesn't turn wrong into right or stupid into smart.
Jim Butcher
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Murphy had found a spot on the street, which made me wonder if she didn't have some kind of magical talent after all. Only some kind of precognitive ESP could have gotten us a parking space on the street, in the shadow of a building, with both of us in sight of the apartment building's entrance.
Jim Butcher
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I'm amazing and studly, but I have limits.
Jim Butcher
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And thrice do I say to thee...bite me.
Jim Butcher
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Don't call me a dinosaur. It isn't fair to the dinosaurs. What did a dinosaur ever do to you?
Jim Butcher
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Caring about someone isn't complicated. It isn't easy. But it isn't complicated, either. Kinda like lifting the engine block out of a car.
Jim Butcher