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Wizards and computers get along about as well as flamethrowers and libraries.

Jim Butcher

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Jim Butcher
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: October 26
Actor
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Independence
Missouri
Computers
Library
Computer
Along
Wells
Well
Dresden
Wizards
Libraries

More quotes by Jim Butcher

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Erlking,” I told her. “Big-time bad guy. Wants to eat me.” “Why?” she asked. “Well. I met him,” I said.
Jim Butcher
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I'd been in hairier situations than this one. Actually, it's sort of depressing, thinking how many times I'd been in them. But if experience had taught me anything, it was this: No matter how screwed up things are, they can get a whole lot worse.
Jim Butcher
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Life is a journey. Time is a river. The door is ajar
Jim Butcher
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If you make some comment even obliquely alluding to menstruation or menopause and its effect on my judgment, Murphy interrupted, I will break your arm in eleven places.
Jim Butcher
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Keep in mind that this appears in the same book of the Bible that approves the death sentence for a child who curses his parents, owners of oxen who injure someone through the owner's negligence, anybody who works or kindles a fire on Sunday, and anyone who has sex with an animal.
Jim Butcher
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Oh, I get it, I said. You're Evil Harry, lurking inside Good Harry. Right? And you only come out at night?
Jim Butcher
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Any time I’m not shooting my mouth off to a clichéd, two-bit creature of the night like you, it’s because I’m up to something.
Jim Butcher
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There is the world that should be and the world that is. We live in one and must create the other.
Jim Butcher
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Santa is a much bigger and more powerful faery than Toot, and I don't know his true name anyway. You'd never see me trying to nab Saint Nick in a magic circle even if I did. I don't think anyone has stones that big.
Jim Butcher
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Thwart, I said. To prevent someone from accomplishing something by means of visiting gratuitous violence upon his smarmy person. I'm pretty sure that isn't the definition. Sarissa said. It is today.
Jim Butcher
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Murphy had found a spot on the street, which made me wonder if she didn't have some kind of magical talent after all. Only some kind of precognitive ESP could have gotten us a parking space on the street, in the shadow of a building, with both of us in sight of the apartment building's entrance.
Jim Butcher
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Animals do not do what they have done. Animals kill to eat, to defend themselves or their own, and to protect their territory. Not for the joy of it. Not for the lust of it...Only humans do that, wizard.
Jim Butcher
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Laugh whenever you can. Keeps you from killing yourself when things are bad. That and vodka.
Jim Butcher
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...you look like you fell out of a crazy tree and hit every branch on the way down.
Jim Butcher
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Bob wasn't precisely a friend to me but... I was used to him. In a way he was family, the mouthy, annoying, irritable cousin who was always insulting you but who was definitely at Thanksgiving dinner. I had never considered the possibility that one day he might be something else.
Jim Butcher
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Now I feel like James Bond. Suave and intelligent, breaking all the codes while looking fabulous.
Jim Butcher
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You're dead, son. Cheer is contraindicated.
Jim Butcher
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I'm so pretty, it's hard for me to think of myself as intelligent.
Jim Butcher
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I don't believe in faeries!
Jim Butcher
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Thank God for wisecracks.
Jim Butcher