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Wizards and computers get along about as well as flamethrowers and libraries.

Jim Butcher

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Jim Butcher
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: October 26
Actor
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Independence
Missouri
Wizards
Libraries
Computers
Library
Computer
Along
Wells
Well
Dresden

More quotes by Jim Butcher

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Do you want your blood to stay where it is sochar-lar? Tavi lifted both eyebrows at the unfamiliar word, and glanced at Varg. Monkey, Varg supplied, in Aleran. And male-child. He called me monkey boy? Tavi asked.
Jim Butcher
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My friend is going to save a little girl from monsters. I am going with him. That's what friends do.
Jim Butcher
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It is the prerogative of wizards to be grumpy. It is not, however, the prerogative of freelance consultants who are late on their rent, so instead of saying something smart, I told the woman on the phone, Yes, ma'am. How can I help you today?
Jim Butcher
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You don't take your cat with you to go bird shopping. Not because the cat isn't polite, but because he's a cat.
Jim Butcher
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I'm not a philosopher, Harry, [Michael] said. But here's something for you to think about, at least. What goes around comes around. And sometimes you get what's coming around. He paused for a moment, frowning faintly, pursing his lips. And sometimes you are what's coming around.
Jim Butcher
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You need a prostate to understand,” I said.
Jim Butcher
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Oh, I forgot to mention it: My brother is the kind of man whom women stalk. In cooperative packs.
Jim Butcher
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In the name of the Pizza Lord. Charge!
Jim Butcher
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I put on the boots and kicked some monster ass.
Jim Butcher
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He's Gandalf on crack and an IV of Red Bull, with a big leather coat and a .44 revolver in his pocket.
Jim Butcher
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Because nothing says flattery like a gun to the head.
Jim Butcher
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Karrin, eh? Thomas asked. I nodded. She's real serious about order. A man dying, she can understand. A man coming back. That's different. Isn't she Catholic? Thomas asked. Don't they have a guy?
Jim Butcher
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I've always felt that the best whips and chains are in the mind. With a little creativity, the physical ones are hardly necessary.
Jim Butcher
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Honey, I liked the Harry Potter movies, too, but that doesn’t mean I ran out and got a Dark Mark tattooed onto my left forearm like you did.
Jim Butcher
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You rush a miracle worker, you get lousy miracles!
Jim Butcher
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I could buy that she would murder me in a fit of rage, poison me out of flaming jealousy, or bomb my car out of sheer, stubborn pique. But she would never do it and feel nothing.
Jim Butcher
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Life is too short, Harry. And there's nowhere near enough joy in it. If you find it, grab it. Before it's gone.
Jim Butcher
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I checked my gear, my pockets, my shoelaces, and realized that I had crossed the line between making sure I was ready and trying to postpone the inevitable.
Jim Butcher
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You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast.
Jim Butcher
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There should be a rule against your own inner monologue throwing around that much sarcasm.
Jim Butcher