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Thank God for wisecracks.

Jim Butcher

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Jim Butcher
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: October 26
Actor
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Independence
Missouri
Dresden
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More quotes by Jim Butcher

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Bob wasn't precisely a friend to me but... I was used to him. In a way he was family, the mouthy, annoying, irritable cousin who was always insulting you but who was definitely at Thanksgiving dinner. I had never considered the possibility that one day he might be something else.
Jim Butcher
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I believe that there's a cloud for every silver lining,' I said.
Jim Butcher
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That’s the problem with you nearly immortal types,” I said. “You couldn’t spot a pop culture reference if it skittered up and implanted an embryo down your esophagus.
Jim Butcher
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Okay, Kincaid said. Anyone have any questions? Why do they sell hot dogs in packages of ten but hot dog buns in packages of eight?
Jim Butcher
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There's a fine line between audacity and idiocy.
Jim Butcher
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Being a wizard gives you more power than most, but it doesn't change your heart. We're all human. We're all of us equally naked before the jaws of pain.
Jim Butcher
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You rush a miracle worker, you get lousy miracles!
Jim Butcher
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There was a sound like a human yawn, and then the skull turned slightly toward me and asked, What's up, boss? Evil's afoot. Well, sure, Bob said, because it refuses to learn the metric system. Otherwise it'd be up to a meter by now.
Jim Butcher
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Everything was perfectly healthy and normal here in Denial Land.
Jim Butcher
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She studied my face for a long minute. Are you going to help my mom? It was a simple question. But how do you tell a child that things just aren't that simple, that some questions don't have simple answers--or any answer at all?
Jim Butcher
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Heroism doesn't pay very well. I try to be cold-blooded and money-oriented, but I keep screwing it up.
Jim Butcher
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How long have you been a Wiccan?' 'A what?' 'A pagan. A witch.' 'I'm not a witch,' I said, glancing out the door. 'I'm a wizard.' Sanya frowned. 'What is the difference?' 'Wizard has a Z' He looked at me blankly. 'No one appreciates me.' I muttered.
Jim Butcher
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Because a sound tree doesn't have bad roots, Amara. No enterprise of greatness begins with treachery, with lying to the people who trust and love you
Jim Butcher
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Animals do not do what they have done. Animals kill to eat, to defend themselves or their own, and to protect their territory. Not for the joy of it. Not for the lust of it...Only humans do that, wizard.
Jim Butcher
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...as nervous as a bird in a coal mine.
Jim Butcher
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Pretty please. With sugar.
Jim Butcher
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If your opponent has you by fifty pounds, winning a fight against him is a dubious proposition, at best. If your opponent has you by eight thousand and fifty pounds, you’ve left the realm of combat and enrolled yourself in Road-kill 101. Or possibly in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.
Jim Butcher
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I mean it, I said. You're in danger. Relax, Harry. I'm not letting anyone lick me, and I'm not looking anyone in the eyes. It's kind of like visiting New York.
Jim Butcher
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Alone. It's one of those small words that means entirely too much. Like fear. Or trust.
Jim Butcher
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Maybe the Merlin was right. Maybe its better to look stupid but strong, than it is to look smart but weak, I don't know. I'm not sure I want to believe that the world stage bears that strong a resemblance to high school.
Jim Butcher