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You rush a miracle worker, you get lousy miracles!

Jim Butcher

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Jim Butcher
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: October 26
Actor
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Independence
Missouri
Miracle
Dresden
Lousy
Worker
Rush
Miracles
Workers

More quotes by Jim Butcher

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Maybe,” he said in a slow, rural drawl, “you could explain to me why I found you in the middle of an orgy.” “Well,” I said, “if you’re going to be in an orgy, the middle is the best spot, isn’t it.
Jim Butcher
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Everyone stopped to blink at that for a second. I mean, come on. Impaled by a guided frozen turkey missile. Even by the standards of the quasi-immortal creatures of the night, that ain't something you see twice. For my next trick, I panted into the startled silence, anvils.
Jim Butcher
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Not that I was worried about anyone stealing my car. I once had a car thief offer to get me something better for a sweetheart rate.
Jim Butcher
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We're all so damned fragile.
Jim Butcher
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It's not my fault all women like motorcycles, Murph. They're basically huge vibrators. With wheels.
Jim Butcher
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I still can't believe, Michael said, sotto voce, that you came to the Vampires' Masquerade Ball dressed as a vampire.
Jim Butcher
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Billy squinted at me. Why are you letting them go? Because they're real. How do you know? The one I was holding crapped on my hand.
Jim Butcher
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I put it down to the paranoia of advancing age. It isn't like I'm all that old or anything, especially for a wizard, but age is always advancing and I'm fairly sure it's up to no good.
Jim Butcher
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Don't call me a dinosaur. It isn't fair to the dinosaurs. What did a dinosaur ever do to you?
Jim Butcher
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People always equate beauty with good, but it just ain't so.
Jim Butcher
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But I am dead certain--ba-dump-bump-ching--that I'm the first guy to lead an army of spirits in an assault from the spirit-world side...and had them start off screaming, BOO!
Jim Butcher
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Here had lived someone else who knew that the only thing waiting at home was a sense of loneliness. Sometimes it is comforting. Most often, it isn't.
Jim Butcher
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Discretion is the better part of not getting exsanguinated.
Jim Butcher
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I'm amazing and studly, but I have limits.
Jim Butcher
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Paranoia is a survival trait when you run in my circles. It gives you something to do in your spare time, coming up with solutions to ridiculous problems that aren't ever going to happen. Except when one of them does, at which point you feel way too vindicated. - Harry Dresden, Changes, Jim Butcher
Jim Butcher
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Let's sum up: an unknown number of enemies with unknown capabilities, supported by a gang of madmen, packs of attack animals, and superhumanly intelligent pocket change.
Jim Butcher
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Sheep can befriend a hungry wolf only for briefly.
Jim Butcher
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I found him in a Dumpster one day when he was a kitten and he promptly adopted me. Despite my struggles, Mister had been an understanding soul, and I eventually came to realize that I was a part of his little family, and by his gracious consent was allowed to remain in his apartment. Cats. Go figure.
Jim Butcher
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The U.S. isn't a perfect place, but it's better than most people have managed to come up with. And all my stuff is there.
Jim Butcher
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Over the course of many encounters and many years, I have successfully developed a standard operating procedure for dealing with big, nasty monsters. Run away.
Jim Butcher