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The wacky thing about those bad guys is that you can't count on them to be obvious. They forget to wax their mustaches and goatees, leave their horns at home, send their black hats to the dry cleaner's. They're funny like that.

Jim Butcher

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Jim Butcher
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: October 26
Actor
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Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Independence
Missouri
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Wacky
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More quotes by Jim Butcher

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Honey, I liked the Harry Potter movies, too, but that doesn’t mean I ran out and got a Dark Mark tattooed onto my left forearm like you did.
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I had to smile at the man. I mean, you have to smile at idiots and children.
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Murphy had found a spot on the street, which made me wonder if she didn't have some kind of magical talent after all. Only some kind of precognitive ESP could have gotten us a parking space on the street, in the shadow of a building, with both of us in sight of the apartment building's entrance.
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If you can't stop the bad thoughts from coming to visit, at least you can make fun of them while they're hanging around.
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Ignorance is more than bliss, it's freaking orgasmic ecstacy!
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If you make some comment even obliquely alluding to menstruation or menopause and its effect on my judgment, Murphy interrupted, I will break your arm in eleven places.
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Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Chinese throwing stars get you a dozen stitches.
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Its amazing waht you can get used to if your daily allowance of bizarre is high enough.'......Harry Dresden
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I lunged, low and quick, and drove about a foot of cold steel into his danglies. Hey, I don't care what kind of fearie or mortal or hideous creature you are. If you've got danglies, and can loose them, that's the kind of sight that makes you reconsider the possible genitalia-related ramifications of your actions real damned quick.
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I love being a wizard. Every day is like Disneyland.
Jim Butcher
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I'd been in hairier situations than this one. Actually, it's sort of depressing, thinking how many times I'd been in them. But if experience had taught me anything, it was this: No matter how screwed up things are, they can get a whole lot worse.
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That’s the problem with you nearly immortal types,” I said. “You couldn’t spot a pop culture reference if it skittered up and implanted an embryo down your esophagus.
Jim Butcher
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Sheep can befriend a hungry wolf only for briefly.
Jim Butcher
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Pansy, Murphy sneered. Thomas leered at her. You make my stamen tingle when you talk like that, Sergeant.
Jim Butcher
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You're in America now, I said. Our idea of diplomacy is showing up with a gun in one hand and a sandwich in the other and asking which you'd prefer.
Jim Butcher
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I guess maybe you don’t get to be the Merlin of the White Council by saving up frequent-flier miles
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Over the course of many encounters and many years, I have successfully developed a standard operating procedure for dealing with big, nasty monsters. Run away.
Jim Butcher
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Animals do not do what they have done. Animals kill to eat, to defend themselves or their own, and to protect their territory. Not for the joy of it. Not for the lust of it...Only humans do that, wizard.
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I can't believe I'm about to say this, I said. So think real careful about where this is coming from. Have you people ever considered *talking* when you've got a problem?
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We are not going to die. Butters stared up at me, pale, his eyes terrified. We're not? No. And do you know why? He shook his head. Because Thomas is too pretty to die. And because I'm too stubborn to die. I hauled on the shirt even harder. And most of all because tomorrow is Oktoberfest, Butters, and polka will never die.
Jim Butcher