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You're in America now, I said. Our idea of diplomacy is showing up with a gun in one hand and a sandwich in the other and asking which you'd prefer.

Jim Butcher

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Jim Butcher
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: October 26
Actor
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Independence
Missouri
Ideas
Showing
Prefer
Gun
Asking
Hand
Idea
Sandwich
Hands
Sandwiches
America
Diplomacy

More quotes by Jim Butcher

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Maybe,” he said in a slow, rural drawl, “you could explain to me why I found you in the middle of an orgy.” “Well,” I said, “if you’re going to be in an orgy, the middle is the best spot, isn’t it.
Jim Butcher
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There was a sound like a human yawn, and then the skull turned slightly toward me and asked, What's up, boss? Evil's afoot. Well, sure, Bob said, because it refuses to learn the metric system. Otherwise it'd be up to a meter by now.
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Keep in mind that this appears in the same book of the Bible that approves the death sentence for a child who curses his parents, owners of oxen who injure someone through the owner's negligence, anybody who works or kindles a fire on Sunday, and anyone who has sex with an animal.
Jim Butcher
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Don't mess with a wizard when he's wizarding!
Jim Butcher
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Fear is bred from ignorance. So knowledge is a weapon against it, and reason is the tool of knowledge.
Jim Butcher
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Erlking,” I told her. “Big-time bad guy. Wants to eat me.” “Why?” she asked. “Well. I met him,” I said.
Jim Butcher
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Over the course of many encounters and many years, I have successfully developed a standard operating procedure for dealing with big, nasty monsters. Run away.
Jim Butcher
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There's more magic in a baby's first giggle than in any firestorm a wizard can conjure up, and don't let anyone tell you any different.
Jim Butcher
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Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others-- even when there's not going to be anyone telling you what a hero you are.
Jim Butcher
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I love being a wizard. Every day is like Disneyland.
Jim Butcher
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I do not need the written code of a spiritual belief to act like a decent human being.
Jim Butcher
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Murphy had found a spot on the street, which made me wonder if she didn't have some kind of magical talent after all. Only some kind of precognitive ESP could have gotten us a parking space on the street, in the shadow of a building, with both of us in sight of the apartment building's entrance.
Jim Butcher
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There aren't any magical words, really. Words just hold the magic.
Jim Butcher
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The best thing about my faerie godmother is that the creepy just keeps on coming.
Jim Butcher
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I'd been in hairier situations than this one. Actually, it's sort of depressing, thinking how many times I'd been in them. But if experience had taught me anything, it was this: No matter how screwed up things are, they can get a whole lot worse.
Jim Butcher
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When I finally got tired of arguing with her and decided to write a novel as if I was some kind of formulaic, genre writing drone, just to prove to her how awful it would be, I wrote the first book of the Dresden Files.
Jim Butcher
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...as nervous as a bird in a coal mine.
Jim Butcher
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There is, I think, humor here which does not translate well from English into sanity.
Jim Butcher
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Body or mind, heart or soul, we're all human, and we're supposed to feel pain. You cut yourself off from it at your own risk.
Jim Butcher
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Pansy, Murphy sneered. Thomas leered at her. You make my stamen tingle when you talk like that, Sergeant.
Jim Butcher