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You're in America now, I said. Our idea of diplomacy is showing up with a gun in one hand and a sandwich in the other and asking which you'd prefer.

Jim Butcher

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Jim Butcher
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: October 26
Actor
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Independence
Missouri
Gun
Asking
Hand
Idea
Sandwich
Hands
Sandwiches
America
Diplomacy
Ideas
Showing
Prefer

More quotes by Jim Butcher

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Sometimes it isn't easy to be sane, smart, and responsible. Sometimes it sucks. Sucks wang. Camel wang. But that doesn't turn wrong into right or stupid into smart.
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I've always felt that the best whips and chains are in the mind. With a little creativity, the physical ones are hardly necessary.
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Somewhere out there was a village I'd deprived of it's idiot.
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When I'm in turmoil, when I can't think, when I'm exhausted and afraid and feeling very, very alone, I go for walks. It's just one of those things I do. I walk and I walk and sooner or later something comes to me, something to make me feel less like jumping off a building.
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It is the prerogative of wizards to be grumpy. It is not, however, the prerogative of freelance consultants who are late on their rent, so instead of saying something smart, I told the woman on the phone, Yes, ma'am. How can I help you today?
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You can't abandon life just because it's scary, and just because you get hurt.
Jim Butcher
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There's a fine line between audacity and idiocy.
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Better safe than exsanguinated.
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If I was on the road to Hell, at least I was going in style.
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Whenever you've got a choice, do good, kiddo. It isn't always fun or easy, but in the long run it makes your life better.
Jim Butcher
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I put on the boots and kicked some monster ass.
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It turns out that Molly wasn't her mother's daughter in that respect. Charity was like the MacGuyver of the kitchen. She could whip up a five-course meal for twelve from an egg, two spaghetti noodles, some household chemicals, and a stick of chewing gum. Molly ... Molly once burned my egg. My boiled egg. I don't know how.
Jim Butcher
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Billy squinted at me. Why are you letting them go? Because they're real. How do you know? The one I was holding crapped on my hand.
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There is, I think, humor here which does not translate well from English into sanity.
Jim Butcher
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There was a sound like a human yawn, and then the skull turned slightly toward me and asked, What's up, boss? Evil's afoot. Well, sure, Bob said, because it refuses to learn the metric system. Otherwise it'd be up to a meter by now.
Jim Butcher
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You know how confusing the whole good-evil concept is for me.
Jim Butcher
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I know how you feel, I said. You run into something you totally don't get, and it's scary as hell. But once you learn something about it, it gets easier to handle. Knowledge counters fear. It always has.
Jim Butcher
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I kept a straight face while my inner Neanderthal spluttered and then went on a mental rampage through a hypothetical produce section, knocking over shelves and spattering fruit everywhere in sheer frustration, screaming, 'JUST TELL ME WHOSE SKULL TO CRACK WITH MY CLUB, DAMMIT!
Jim Butcher
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Ease off the martyr throttle.
Jim Butcher
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Jump into an open grave? What kind of idiot are you? Butters replied. I might as well put on a red shirt and volunteer for the away team. There's snow and ice and slippery mud down there. That's like asking for an ironically broken neck.
Jim Butcher