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You're in America now, I said. Our idea of diplomacy is showing up with a gun in one hand and a sandwich in the other and asking which you'd prefer.

Jim Butcher

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Jim Butcher
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: October 26
Actor
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Independence
Missouri
Gun
Asking
Hand
Idea
Sandwich
Hands
Sandwiches
America
Diplomacy
Ideas
Showing
Prefer

More quotes by Jim Butcher

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You are a drug dealer. To tiny faeries. Shame. Sanya to Dresden
Jim Butcher
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Paranoia is a survival trait when you run in my circles. It gives you something to do in your spare time, coming up with solutions to ridiculous problems that aren't ever going to happen. Except when one of them does, at which point you feel way too vindicated. - Harry Dresden, Changes, Jim Butcher
Jim Butcher
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I guess maybe you don’t get to be the Merlin of the White Council by saving up frequent-flier miles
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She studied my face for a long minute. Are you going to help my mom? It was a simple question. But how do you tell a child that things just aren't that simple, that some questions don't have simple answers--or any answer at all?
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Don't call me a dinosaur. It isn't fair to the dinosaurs. What did a dinosaur ever do to you?
Jim Butcher
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Demonreach only wants Harry to see what's going on. Why doesn't it just marry him? Thomas muttered under his breath. It sort of did, I said. My brother the... geosexual?
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Just like credit card companies, or those student loan people. Now there's evil for you.
Jim Butcher
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I just stood there staring, because while I've seen a lot of weird things, I hadn't ever seen that.
Jim Butcher
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You know how confusing the whole good-evil concept is for me.
Jim Butcher
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I do not need the written code of a spiritual belief to act like a decent human being.
Jim Butcher
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Wizards and computers get along about as well as flamethrowers and libraries.
Jim Butcher
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...The next time I opened my eyes, I was in the morgue. This, all by itself, is enough to really ruin your day. I was lying on the examining table, and Butters, complete with his surgical gown and his tray of autopsy instruments, stood over me. 'I'm not dead!' I sputtered. 'I'm not dead!' - Harry Dresden, Death Masks, Jim Butcher
Jim Butcher
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Here had lived someone else who knew that the only thing waiting at home was a sense of loneliness. Sometimes it is comforting. Most often, it isn't.
Jim Butcher
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Maybe they'd use biological or chemical weapons instead. Maybe they'd crash the world economy. Maybe they'd turn every program on television into one of those reality shows. That's mostly done already, Harry. Oh. Well. I've got to believe that the world is worth saving anyway.
Jim Butcher
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Heroism doesn't pay very well. I try to be cold-blooded and money-oriented, but I keep screwing it up.
Jim Butcher
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Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others-- even when there's not going to be anyone telling you what a hero you are.
Jim Butcher
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There's more magic in a baby's first giggle than in any firestorm a wizard can conjure up, and don't let anyone tell you any different.
Jim Butcher
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One can have only as much preparation as he has foresight.
Jim Butcher
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I kept a straight face while my inner Neanderthal spluttered and then went on a mental rampage through a hypothetical produce section, knocking over shelves and spattering fruit everywhere in sheer frustration, screaming, 'JUST TELL ME WHOSE SKULL TO CRACK WITH MY CLUB, DAMMIT!
Jim Butcher
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Life would be unbearably dull if we had answers to all our questions.
Jim Butcher